12/30/09 Dr K, Chic, NMarket, By Greg, Kids!

Went to Dr K. I met Miriam's son. I remembered him from the photo's that she used to show at NMark. He gave us a review of Avatar. I think I'll see it. He says it won't gross me out.

Amy, Dr K's receptionist, is back. She's a little sad, but she's very strong. We got to talking about John's experience before his dad's death. She told me that she'd had a very similar experience when her grandma died. She just knew. We both cried.

Luke had a good appointment with Dr Mike. Then we headed for home. We stopped at Boston Chicken. While Luke went out for the chicken, I called MKate. She thinks I could come into work a little late.

I had fish for lunch. (good for the diet) Oh, yes. I hit my Chirstmas goal weight wise. I did it. I was so excited. (that isn't to say that I have achieved my ultimate goal) After the New Year , I'll set another goal. And so on until I hit the ultimate.

" That night, I chose to find new meanings in old tasks. I chose this for myself. I chose this and I loved it." Andre Aggasi. (He's talking to a t.v. host. His life wasn't good in his late 20's and his tennis game was lame. )

At NMarket, I was at the register. My old friend, Michelle came in. I'd like her to work on the movie with me. But . . . somehow, I never got back to her. We're going to get together in the new year. I invited her and her friend, Laurie to try my meditation class.

Luke went to pick up Rain and her family from the airport. I thought they were going straight to Btown, but . . . they decided to spend the night. Rain wanted to order in Chinese. MKate and I left work about 5:30 or so. Rain had the table set and the adults ate together. It was fun. We drank wine and laughed a lot.

Violet found my little bag of Chirstmas chocolate. She ate all that was left. It was not easy for her to fall asleep. Surprise.

Fun.

Em and her family came home as well.

12/28/09 Day full of moments

I started the day with a reading--live each moment and fill it out. You are where you were meant to be, to learn the lessons that you needed to learn. Learn in each moment. Don't think negative or positive; think what did I learn and how will that help me on my journey.

I got in my whole morning of activity. (my hatha went very well) After breakfast, I was on my way to salon 7000 to get my hair done. It always looks so shaggy after a mere four weeks. I like all the operators at salon 7000. Also, I have a present for my hair dresser and friend, Eunice. I know that she'll like it. It's a gift I like to get as well--a restaurant gift certificate. And a container of miniature candy bars for everyone. Also I had some mystery books for Gary's older client, Florence. What I didn't realize until she told me today--she's 92. I just love her. She's beautiful, elegant, happy and grateful. What a combination. She brought a book for me to read as well, "Remember Me," by her fav author Mary Higgins Clark.

Then I got a huge surprise. Eunice gave me a big Christmas gift. I didn't know what to say. it was a gift bag filled with things I use and love. I was so very touched.

Oh yes. Before I left the house, the kitties came to see me. They had played with Luke, and then they came to see me. Little Greyling was up in the tree next door. And my boy, Pumpkin, wanted me to pick him up. I just love those kitties. But I know that I need, for their own safety, to find them a family.

On the way home, I listened to a tape that Rain gave me of Bob Dylan. Something about his music moves me and I started serious work on the song for Bapuji.

12/27/09 Carl feeds tree, We meet Mike, Letters done

I called Mike Flint, on MKate's recommendation. Mike has a lot of experience, and he does everything. He'll be able to help with our house. He said he'd come today--at 1.

About 12:45 I heard the doorbell ring. It was Carl--the Buddist that does our trees. He wanted to know if we still wanted him to feed my special tree. I said yes. Luke agreed. Carl came in for a visit. He had ginger/honey tea and I had coffee. We talked about sadhana. It's always uplifting to talk with Carl. Carl is at home in nature, in a way that I'm not. He loves to camp out in the freezing cold. Sleeping on the ground. He described a night when I was happy to go from car to warm house. He spend the night in a tent, sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag. He got up at 12 midnight to meditate and went deeply inside that amazing world.

While he was here, Mike came with his assistant. Mike told us the history of his experience. We were happy to hear about it. He does like to talk a lot. Mike is going to redo our kitchen, and help with the dim lights in my bathroom. I really like Dave, but he's away so much. My lights are so dim, and Dave is far away. I hope that this collaboration will transform our space.

I got two things done today that were on my mind. I found my voice and answered Betty's e-mail to me about our leaving St Luke's. I took the high road and didn't get specific. I also got a chance to contemplate our years at St Luke's, and to thank Betty for being such an amazing part of it all.

On a lesser note, I finished my two page letter to Ricky. He owes me $1,000. He took the money under false pretenses and he knows it. However he doesn't want to repay me. I know he's struggling financially but he should at least offer and to work out a payment plan. I told him that I'd sue. I won't. If he wants to be a thief, that's his problem. We'll see.

And by the time all that was done, it was time to make dinner.

12/27/09 New Church, Coffee & Nici, NM

I woke up tired. I wanted to shower and do a few exercises before getting dressed, having breakfast, and packing for my day at NMarket. Soon we were on our way to the church we attended on Chirstmas eve. People at Northwood Christian are very friendly. Real and genuine. I liked the service but not as much as the Christmas service. Luke loved it. He cried. I did like the message--that God is in each momentmof our lives and to know God you have to find Him in each moment--which He has given to you as a gift. I'm going to practice.

We got a mug, the first in our journey. I put the cup on our cupboard in the dining room.

Nicole went with us. Afterwards, she took us out for coffee. We wanted to take her, but she's so much like Em. She wouldn't hear of it. I call her my 4th daughter. She paid.

She brought us a warm house for the kitties--Pumpkin and Greyling. The house was created by a group that cares for homeless kitties. It will keep them warm. I hope that Pumpkin and Greyling try the house and like it. We made plans to have them neutered. Later I thought about it. What if they have homes. They are beautiful kitties, very beautiful. I hope that they truely have no home. What if they belong to someone who wants to breed the cats. I'm freaking out.

Luke dropped me off at NMarket. The weather has turned cold and the snow is falling. The roads are icy for the first time this year. I am worried about the bottom line. We really work.

In the middle of the day, a woman came in. She was dressed and looked like she had money. She didn't want any help but I saw her carrying a lot of product and was worried that she'd drop something. I asked her if she would take a basket; she refused in a mean way. So I just sighed and looked away. Something was off with this woman. Then crash, a bottle hit the floor. She looked up in a guilty way. I had just asked her to take a basket. She offered to pay for the bottle. I told her the price; it was only $14.99. Then I assured her that Matt would take care of cleaning the floor. She said again that she'd pay for the product. I didn't say--"Oh, don't." She must have been waiting for that. Suddenly, she dropped what she had in her arms on my chair (she could have dropped other products) and ran out. She wasn't going to pay for that little bottle .

For some reason, I felt bad about the loss of her sale. Matt and I take our bottom line seriously. Luckily lots of fun and good customers did come in.

Toward the end of the day, a couple came in. The woman had a problem that I've had--small white spots that appear on the hands and body. I healed mine with green food and Megasorb B complex. She was thinking the same for herself. Her husband was reading about the same nutrients. So she bought chlorophyl,

She likes to do everything naturally. At first I liked her and her husband. Then I didn't. She told me that she let her house cat go wild because animals shouldn't be caged in people's houses. I didn't like her after that. I thought about it because of Pumpkin and Greyling, (could she be right) but I ended by thinking that it didn't work for me. She started to remind me of --well, someone I don't respect.

In the end, our bottom line surprised and pleased Matt and I. We did it despite awful weather and the big game and lots of people out of town for the holidays. We love to get it done.

12/26/09 Bookstore, Movie Night

I woke up late, and still had to wash my hair. But it's Sat, so that's o.k.

The flow. We needed to return Xavier's game (he already had one) to Barnes and Nobles. We only go to B&N in B town. Infact, we got the gift in B town and I wasn't sure where I had stowed the reciept. O.K. it's true. I'm not organized paper wise. I found the receipt right away. Right away. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Also, our trip to B&N was filled with great surprises. We found a great and knowledgeable salesperson in the kids department. And she was friendly and fun to talk to. We'd go back to learn more from her. And--we were concerned that we hadn't wrapped and given away two new books that Xavier already had for Christmas. There was still time to do it at B &N . We got them in on the last possible day. I was so happy to be in the flow again.

We played in the bookstore for a long time. Then we came home for a rest.

MKate joined me to make dinner. Then MKate, Luke and I headed for the movies. We saw "The Blindside." I gave it a 10. I love that it's true. I love that one compassionate woman saw a large heavy teenager walking in the rain and cold and she brought him home. She helped him to realize his potential--which was huge. The acting was amazing. Sandra Bullock plays the lead.

12/25/09 Surprises!, MKate's Fab Party

Spoke to the kids this morning. Rain and family having a fun time at the Purik's. I spoke to John. He shared with me about his dad's death. He said that he was upset after visiting another sick relative. He went to the beach and sat on the rocks listening to the ocean. Suddenly he knew that a big change was coming. His amazing father died during the night. Very unexpected.

I went downstairs to make coffee. That's the first thing I do when I get downstairs. I opened the cupboard and there--right in front of the tins of coffee-- a game card (which I love) for my pet society. I was so excited. Luke knows how I love these game cards. Then after breakfast, I opened my computer and OMG there was another game card. I was so excited. Luke knows me so well.

Em and Bobby getting ready to take off for Beverly Hills. Chasing movie stars is what Bobby likes best (along with cooking.) Sadly Em tells me there was stress with one of the kids. I hope the trip works out.

After breakfast, Luke and I head for MKate's for her annual Chirstmas party. The house looks beautiful. I love her ceramic tree. I watch her preparing fish. (she's an amazing cook) (I'm lucky that I know so many amazing cooks) I learned how to prepare the filet and coat it with spices and a bit of flour --not too much. Everything else was already prepared. Enice and John came and Kay was there. Kris and Dana came after awhile. Much later Jennifer and Kevin came with Max and Abby.

I had some very good white wine. MKate loves to entertain. Lots of food and wine. Deserts that fill up the counter. A lot of food. I take my diet pills (healthy) and am prepared. I was careful. I had the fish (good), a delicious green bean dish (I only took a little), veggies, and home made cranberry sauce. So good. Also, I had a small amount of desert. MKates little chocolate cakes with chocolate goo inside--yummm. I also like the apple tart with layers.

The conversation was fun. We all laughed a lot. When the little kids came, I loved watching them open their presents. Max and Abby are great kids.

I bought a painting. MKate's son Kris is an artist. He painted an oriental themed painting of a bird. I've always wanted to buy this painting. Tonight--I BOUGHT IT! Yay.

When everyone left, MKate and Jeff, Luke and I had some time to visit. Jeff brought out a fab music video--5 fabulous musicians got together (among them Tom Petty and George (one of the Beetles) and they just started jammin. They wrote songs and sang. It was like being at a private concert. The DVD also had footage of the work they did together. We all loved the experience. It felt intimate. Like we were sitting around with these great musicians.

A great Christmas day with friends.

12/24/09 Shopping, Cats, NEW CHURCH

Somehow I hurt my butt and couldn't even bend over to do my stretching exercises. I managed a few and then gave up. I talked to Janice this morning. She wasn't up for going out tonight. It was a very special night for her and her late husband. She decided to get her nails done and go to a movie. We talked for a while. I wanted her to feel cared about. She's a good person and has been through a lot.

Luke wanted to get me a Christmas gift. We went to Pennys. No. It wasn't too crowded. I got a suede purse that was orignially $85.00--at more than 1/2 price. It's pretty and has room for all my things. Like all my purses it doesn't stay on my shoulder. I'm going to JoAnn fabric to see if they have any advise. I also got a pretty, delicate watch with a pink and blue face--fun but elegant at the same time. $19.99. Not bad.

I ate a light lunch. David M came over to give us our Chirstmas gift. His amazing home made cookies. The orange kitten showed up. He wanted to come in. I thought, let him in for Chirstmas. Luke said no. What's the point when he can't live with us. I hoped that David would want him. His cat just died. But no. He already has 3 cats and doesn't want anymore. He loves cats and would make such a good home for my kitties. Oh well. Moving on.

Luke and I pretended that we were teens again, living together in NYC and having our first Chirstmas. We ate at our old fav restaurant, India Gardens. The food was yum and I found a way to stay on my diet while eating Indian. Yay. We were alone in the restaurant. So we got all the attention. It was fun.

Then we went looking for the new Church. It's small (compared to St L's) At first we thought it was empty and we saw another Church around the corner. We could have gone there. It doesn't matter right now. We pulled into the parking lot. The Church was on the dark side for atmosphere but people were going in. We went in as well.

No one was dressed up. We liked that. The sevice was peaceful, reverant and spiritual. Luke liked it very much. He thought highly of Pastor Ted. A friend recommended this Church as one we might like. (Remember. We are NOT committing to any church for at least a year.) Pastor Ted doesn't have notes. He comes right from the heart. The lights were low. The music was designed to highten peace and reverence for this very, very special holiday. A time to remember and to experience the birth of the Christ. A time to light up inside and out. To share that light with the world. Communion was lovely. We came up and recieved the bread and wine. Pastor blessed each one. The end of the service was a candle light ceremony. I left feeling uplifted and so did Luke.

12/23/09 Kids leave for Conn, Dr K, NMarket

Luke got up extra early to make breakfast for the kids, to give them a good start for their trip. Then they were off to the airport. I can't get up that early but it was sweet to see thier left over breakfast.

Luke got home as I was about to put on my make up and head for the chiropractor. We had three little gifts for Dr K, Dr M and Amy. I was sorry that I didn't add a card with my gratitude feelings on it, but I wasn't as organized as I might have been this season. One for the impskies (or more). I have to say that the HiNi tired me in body and somewhat in spirit.

Luke drove with me even though he didn't have an appointment himself. We were a little late. The orange kitten got into the garage and then into the house. He's such a pumpkin. I wish I could keep him in the house. But with the allergies in our family, we can't. Luke caught him in the house and had to take him out. I got a treat ready for him--salmon and eggs--so he wouldn't feel bad about not moving into the house. Luke and I are worried that one of the kitties will get hit by our car (Please God No) or the by the garage door. We'll have to be so careful and pray.

So . . . we got to Dr K's office late. When my turn came, I gave him his little gift (sans card), and I asked him to give a gift to Amy. Amy just lost her baby. Heartbreaking. So hard and awful. And people keep pestering her about her private pain--and judging her. I felt sad for Amy. I know how she feels. Dr K and I talked about it. He also knows how she feels from his own personal experience. We were both sad. We shared where we thought our "little soul" was. Private for both of us. Well, I can tell you that I believe that my son, Michael, is an angel and watches over me, Luke and his sisters.

I was quiet in the car. Thoughtful.

I had lunch. Then went to Nature's Market. It was an interesting day. One of my old customers came in and trusted me. She spend lots of $$$$. But I'm worried about her digestive problems. I think she should see her M.D.

Linda came to work and I was able to discuss the problems with the kittens. I am hearning all kinds of ideas. Nicole came in to give me a darling Christmas gift. Her home made ginger cookies are delicious. Amazing. Because I wasn't as organized as I hoped, I couldn't find her gift--a message with Chuck. I hope he'll do what he did last year--give the message to Nicole and let me tear up the gift certificate when I find it.

garage door. We'll have to be careful, careful and pray.

12/22/09 Getting Ready for Early Christmas

Luke and I spent the day getting ready for our little Christmas party. We got up early and started getting ready. There was a lot to do. Into the mix was the fact that The Bionic Cat (Steven) had to come to reconnect our printer and repair the damage done by the AT@T guy. It took him two hours. While he was working, Rain and Ry came in from Btown with the littles. They both wanted to play with me right now. Xavier wanted to play a fun Pokemon game and Violet wanted me to read to her--basically talk to her and pay attention. Luke couldn't help because he was upstairs with the Cat. Rain and Ry were in the kitchen resting. They had the long haul from BTown and tomorrow will be the long haul from Indy to Conn. So I played with both kids at the same time.

Finally The Cat repaired most of the damage. Most. OOOh that AT&T.

Then we wrapped presents, organized things. Luke was the best. We were having a mix of chinese (fattening but delicious). and Boston Chicken. Em and Bobby couldn't join us. They had to work in prep for their own trip.

Both kittens showed up. They were hungry. And I had that great can of wet food that cats LOVE. I put it out on two plates. The kittens ate together. They wanted to come in. I couldn't let them because of the kids and . . . Luke. They loved their treat. But they kept looking in . They wanted to join the family. It was sad. I have to try and find them a real family.

Xavier and I had a great moment. He was playing with a lighted stick of incense. Rain was kind of gruff with him about putting it back. But I went over and showed him how to do puja. He really understands and that makes me so happy. We have this loving bond. I can't explain. I usually see Violet late Thur night when she is tired. Today, she was happy and rested. She came up and pointed at me and told me that she loves me. It was sweet.

We ate very early. MKate joined us

"Song writing is easy. It's like breathing." Bono

After dinner we opened presents. She really liked her present and I really liked the one she got for me. I cried. She gave me red glass dishes. This is from the sentimental past of Luke and my childhood. We were just married and living in NYC. It was almost Chirstmas and we were walking through the city streets looking into the grand stores. We stopped at a display with a table set with red glass dishes. I loved it. I said-- "Someday, I'll have these dishes." And now I do.

12/21/09 Conversation Ride, Shopping

I didn't sleep well last night. I felt . . . it's hard to discribe--that I was in a meditative state but very aware of my life. I was going over life and changes and where I want to go next. Finally I feel asleep.

I woke up tired. But I didn't want to let the impskies win. I got up and took my shower and then I was awake. There were lots of birds at the feeders. It's cold and snowy. So the birds are hungry. We didn't see greyling. I just don't know. Does she have her own family? I go back and forth.

Today is a special day for Luke and me. We go on our conversation ride. I think that love is youth. Feelings of love wake up the cells in the body and help to keep them younger and healthier. Love is a tonic. Only love is such a huge word. Anyway, with a husband and wife they have to use all that's best in them to understand and to work together with the partner in life that God has given them.

We have some huge changes coming up. Luke's sabatical. For the first time since I've known him over 50 years ago, Luke will not be ultra busy every moment. He has to find a way to create meaning for himself. I'm his partner in life and I need to support him. We talk about the upcoming time. We also talk about our change of Churches. We've been with St Luke's for a long time and now we're moving on--and we don't know where. It feels freeing but also scary for both of us.

After our conversation, we go to the mall to pick up Luke's Christmas gift. He's getting a MAC friendly voice recorder to keep a record of his thoughts on "The Book." Luke is writing his first book on music. It's going to be a huge help to his students and I suspect music students in the future that he doesn't even know. At first the crew at The Mac Store didn't think they had anything for us. I called The Cat and he made some suggestions. While he was talking to the woman who was helping us, she got a look. She said that The Cat had a car accident and had to hang up. I thought he was o.k. I just did. So we went across the way and picked up some small gifts from a specialty store. Then I saw it. The perfect gift for MKate. I think of her as my twin sister and I wanted to get her something very cool this year. Luke and I went into the store and bingo . . . she's going to LOVE it. And she has no idea.

After a while, The Cat called us to say that it wasn't even a fender bender. Everyone was fine, including the cars.

Our next stop was Steinmart. I was excited to see their selection of Hello Kitty watches. Kimora Lee Simmons designed a luxe line of Hello Kitty jewelry. Her jewelry started at $4 or 5, 000. These watches were on sale for $24. 99. And yes, I was disappointed. Very. The watch I liked had a bad watch band and the other (only two choices) was too clunky.

I was tired but we went to Verizon. I thought I might get a Droid. As soon as we went into the store, we saw George. George is a friend that we have come to trust. He said that the Droid wasn't for me. So . . . why change. I still like my old phone. I just don't want to buy something I don't need because Luke wants me to have a Christmas present.

We went home. Luke felt sad and then I remembered. I need a new purse. So we're going to Penny's and see what they have on sale. And maybe we'll even look somewhere cool. I'd like to have a cool purse.

12/30/09 Breakfast, NMarket, Em and Bobby

I woke up with a concern about my cold and some of the same symptoms I had before the H1N1 . I took as many healing nutrients as possible. Luke and I went out to breakfast which we usually don't do alone. We'll usually only have breakfast out with someone else. We've been talking about our young couple times and we went to La Peep just as a couple. It was great. The food is always good and also can be good for my diet. When I order right.

We had fun. We talked and people watched. A man came over to us. He complimented Luke--not just on his musical gifts to St Luke's but on his acting with my musical, " Ice Cream Dreams."

He said that he wished he could see the play again or that I'd do more writing. I felt . . well . . . very happy to hear it. Then, he said that he teaches a class for people in thier late 40's and early 50's who want to change careers. He thought I'd benefit. I smiled. I am changing directions in my life.

Luke drove me to work. Yay. Then, he picks me up which means that he helps me get my groceries into the car. When you have a handicap, the people who are willing to help you are very, very important. I love going to work on Sunday because Matt is there. He has become one of my very best friends. He gave me a Chirstmas card that said those sweet things. Matt and I love a lot of the same things--like the magical world of games like "The Sims, " and "Pet Society." We work together very well, and our conversations are always fun and interesting.

After work, Luke and I went for dinner at Em and Bobby's. Bobby made his chili--yummmy.

Emily and Brian were there with their kids and Emily's mom. Emily's mom is as warm and welcoming as she is. Very friendly.

After dinner. Bobby and Em sat around the great room and told stories and laughed.

12/19/09 Ctomputers up. Shop w MKate . Movie Night

The past few days have been bad computer days. AT&T could not fix the problem over the phone.

Although we knew that we needed to resolve our computer problems, we took off for B town and the littles on Thur. We hadn't been there for two weeks. We had a great drive and a lot of fun with the kids --big and little.

Cut to today. The service guy was coming from AT&T--anywhere from 8 to 12. Next door they had the Comcast truck all morning. He finally came by about 12 and after a few hours the computers were up and running. But he couldn't get the printer to speak to the computers--and I have a big project coming up. Hummm.

MKate came to shop with me. Just to hang out together and have fun. Tonight MK and Jeff will celebrate 35 years of married life--and still in love. They're going to a fancy dinner at Oakley's. Tres delicious. I was looking for two things at Best Buys: a GPS and a recorder for Luke so he can begin his writing project. The GPS we wanted was out. MKate had them check to see if there was a GPS (the kind we wanted) at the Best Buys near her house. They did and she was willing --on her anniversary-- to pick it up for me. So sweet. And quess what, it was on sale. MKate found that out on line and they gave it to her. (me) It pays to have a smart best friend.

I also found out that I have to get Luke's recorder at a Mac store. The recorder has to talk to the Mac or he can't rewrite.

We ate dinner at home. Yummy, pork chops. Luke told me that it was perfectly prepared. It was Movie Night--yay! We went to Keystone to see Orson Wells and Me. I went to get coffee and Luke went to get seats. I had this sweet experience getting coffee. The new rule is that you have to pay at the central register and then walk over to the coffee area. The young man behind the counter said that he'd help me right there at the coffee area. I gave me $1.00 tip as a Chirstmas surprise. It wasn't much, but it made him feel good inside. He smiled and then we had a little conversation about movies. A lot of sweetness.

The movie was excellent.

12/16/09 DrK, NMarket, Luke has a big surprise for me.

I got up early. A bare morning. Shower. Fast breakfast. On to Dr K's. Luke and I went together. He had to go straight to a meeting, so we left the house at 10. For me that means no Hatha Yoga.

People. The impskies are having their way with my eating program. The scale is not my friend anymore. Hopefully, I can do better today. l'm pulling out all my tricks. We'll see. Those impskies are so persuasive. They think that I deserve to eat sweets and carbs. With an emphasis on sweets. They say--"The kids are going to be gone for Chirstmas. You don't have a Church. Luke's back was out. There are no Christmasy things upstairs. Yukkk. "

But today, the Angelites are making themselves known. They say, "Don't waste your efforts. Be careful today. Eat a small breakfast. Coffee, toast, and a slice of low fat chesse. " So I did it. Then I brought a bottle of fizzy water (no calories) into the car along with my left over coffee.

Dr K sees the differences in my hip area. I am healing. And I'm doing it at my present weight. What would I be able to do if I could lose weight. He really worked on me today. When I do my work, he can do his. I'm working in my head and with my Hatha.

At home, I have an egg and some tuna for lunch with one slice of high fiber bread. And the rest of my fizzy water. Good job, Ashley. The Angelites are proud.

Nature's Market. I meet the new employee. Jessica is taking Gregs place--sort of. She seems very friendly and sweet. We talk about art. Jessica used to make pottery, but the tools of her trade were too expensive. So now, she's working at Nature's Market. I hope it brings her good fortune.

One of the customers was getting set for a trip to India. She told me that I looked psyhic to her. I know what she means. I am getting clearer.

I went home, and felt a little sad. I was thinking that the house would be dark and non Christmasy. I walked in the door and . . . wow. Luke had Chirstmas upstairs. He pulled the tree into it's rightful place near the patio door. And happiness was mine. I spent 1/2 hour putting ornaments on the tree. Each one had a memory. One was made by Rain when she was in pre school. Violets age. OMG. One was from John who used to work at NM and died young I loved John.

Pastor M left a message on our machine. He wants to talk with us, but what is there to say?

I still haven't written to Betty. Again, I don't know what to say or how to say it.

12/15/09 New Shampoo, Dentist, Hatha Yoga

Em gave me shampoo and conditioner in tester size. It's the brand that she uses and her hair always looks great. I tried it this morning, then put my hair up--so I won't know until tonight how it looks. I have fly away hair and I hope this helps.

I went to the dentist so that he could see how the work he did on my front teeth held up. He says that it's good for now, and we'll talk about a more permanent procedure after the holidays. I'm hoping a good year or so after these holidays. I'm going to take more Co Q 10 and see if that helps--it has in the past.

MKate is soooo nice. She talked to me on the way to the dentist and wanted to hear how I did afterwards as well.

After the dentist, I went to Staples for some C.D. mailers and last minute gifts. I'm hoping to send out three CD's of Liz and my praise music--this Friday before I go to work. I'd really like to do it before we go to B town on thursday but . . . we aren't the speediest couple around. We usually leave the house just in time to get where we are going.

I've been thinking about what Baba used to say--all the time. You can meditate in your room and be as peaceful as a kitten in the sun but if you can't bring peace into your daily life--what's the point. So I am trying to bring the peace into washing my hair, going to Staples, teaching my classes, making dinner.

Interesting: Luke called me. He has been annoyed because I'm feeding the outdoor cat, Greyling. He wanted to tell me that when he was packing his car with recycling--Greyling came into the garage to look and smell around. He got Rocky's silver bowl and fed her on the porch. He thinks she's beautiful like I do. He noticed that her fur is grey with soft orange marking. MKate thinks that I should get her fixed right away. But I'm still not sure she's a stray. What if she belonged to a neighbor and I tampered with someone else's cat. I don't know what to do.

I think that Greyling would be ours if our grandkids were not so very allergic.

I taught my last Hatha class in the old year. It was deeply peaceful. A good way to begin the "maddness " leading up to Chirstmas.

12/14/09 Meditation Class, Con Ride, Lisa's Party

This was the last meditation class until the new year. I slipped into meditation myself and the class flew by. I was so relaxed after class. I didn't have long to talk to MKate, because Luke and I were taking our conversation ride.

We talked about his sabatical. This will be the first time in 50 years that he hasn't been sheduled to the eye teeth. I'm a little worried. He says that he's looking forward to it. I hope so.

Then we got ready for Lisa's 50th b-day party. Sometimes musicians partys are BORING. All the talk is about music. "Hey, guys what about that note I played the other day." And I'm not kidding.

We got there and had to walk a little because it was a surprise party. and we couldn't park in front of the house. I hate surprises. So I'm glad it's not me. The weather was yummy warm. I loved walking in it. It was a desert party, all chocolate, because Lisa is a big chocolate person.

Lisa was so surprised. And happy. There was chocolate everywhere. Nancy was there. Terry and Pam, David and Bud, and so on. There were only a few people that I didn't know. Best desert--Nancy Agres: a sooo amazing raspberry and chocolate tart. Sooooo yummmy. I brought a diet soda and only ate little bits of the candy and other cakes that were there.

I had a few good conversations. Nancy is a very good writer. Her last story featured a cat so we talked about the story and the cat behind the story. We left at the time we agreed on and most people left at that time also--so it worked.

12/13/09 La Peep and kids, NMarket

I didn't exercise this morning. The littles were here and I wanted to be present with them. Little Violet calls me gramma in that sweet way she has. Xavier and I are into the computer games. He plays my games while I shower and get dressed. He has discovered many secrets of games that we both play. His thinks out-of-the-box.

Rain is always trying to get Violet to let her put bows in her hair. Violet isn't beyond taking a bribe--chocolate kisses--but will take the bow out shortly. It's funny. Rain never gives up trying.

Violet is a blond with softly falling curls. She looks beautiful with her hair falling naturally around her darling little face.

We go out to La Peep. La Peep has good food and they are child friendly. The kids eat well and they enjoy the experience. We usually sit at the same big round table. Enough room.

Luke and I left early so that we could get to work. Luke dropped me off. Then he went home to get ready for another performance of the Messiah. We were steady. I had a several fun customers who wanted to spend money to improve their health. It's fun knowing that you have helped someone to make a difference.

Then I came home and we ate last nights left overs.

12/11/09 Good Hatha, Call with Becky, Cat

I got up with plenty of time to exercise and get all my morning done. There are no birds outside the window and no squirrels, not a cat to be seen. What is this? I wonder. We don't have all the feeders full but two of them are. Hummm.

I see the photo of Becky with Kevin's new cat. The cat is beautiful and huge. Becky says that she thinks he is part wild cat. And he's loving and tame. What a pretty animal. I asked for an enlargement of the picture as my Chirstmas gift.

I love cats. can you tell. I didn't do any chores. It was fun to talk to Becky--especially the part about Kevin's new cat. Then, I had to get to work.

I did the banking for N.M. When I got back to the store, there was a lot of good energy. A lot of Shakti. I work on the enzymatic order. I help a few customers. One is looking for the same things that I take for sinus, another wants to buy Ann Borlind--top of the line--skin care. I'm impressed. Very. She's 60 something, just lost a ton of weight and her skin looks better than it did before. She is a rich woman. but she's not wanting to spend the $$$$. I find it hard to believe. Finally she does buy the goods.

I meet a woman whos mom goes to St L's -our old church. I tell her that we;re looking for another church. She's sad and she knows that her mom will be sad. Truthfully they won't miss me. They'll miss Luke's music.

Greg helps me bring my things to the car. It's nice of him. I don't see him wearing a coat. I hope it's because he's young and doesn't need a coat.

12/8/09 Weather, Dr K, Chores--The Call--I call

It's been a long, long day. I'm tired and hope to be in bed early (for me.)

The weather was cold and windy. BUT we didn't have the storm that was predicted. Yay. Our guardian angel was looking after us. But still, it was the first true winter day. I drove to Dr K's in wind that rocked the car.

He found that my back was stiff. The adjustment hurt, usually it doesn't. Still I felt better when it was over.

I spoke to Judy. (She's the friend that introduced me to Bapuji) She said that the couple who always brought our gifts to India --right to Bapuji's home--was not allowed to come this year. Most people have been denied. I got concerned. Judy referenced Baba's poor health. He's coughing. I'm concerned and will pray.

On the way home from Dr K, I laid out the chores that I wanted to get done. I got gas. It was so cold. I wished that I had worn a hat. Then I picked up the chicken--Boston Chicken. (I remembered to bring the coupon) Then I called Kay and found that if I did the banking I wouldn't be needed at work. So I stopped at the shoe store. I ordered my Think shoes. While I was there, I picked up a great pair of boots that will cover my shoes and then flatten out and fit easily into a tote--when I'm out for the evening. I've been looking for something this easy and it's not too ugly. Certain angles are actually cute.

I ordered a pair of cute dressy shoes. Hopefully they will fit.

I went home for a light lunch and then went to pick up the bank from NM. After bank, I went to AAA where they were having a sale on Visa gift cards. I saved $9.00 (if I got them at the credit union, and $15 anywhere else) They come with caveats but so what. These folks will spend their $$$ right away. Now all I have to do is register the cards which I can do with one call tomorrow.

I had to be very, very careful not to fall. Very careful. Coming out of the shoe store my cane slipped twice. Not good.

So when I went to pick up Luke's prescription from CVS, I parked at the curb. I walked slowly and carefully. I got the prescription and some Chirstmas wrapping things, cards and etc.

I got home and crashed. So tired.

I knew in my heart that I had to call Nayna--today. I had to work up the courage. I knew I wouldn't ask to go to India. I'm just getting over HiNi and Bapuji would never allow it. So I was calling to find out if someone could bring our community Christmas gift to Bapuji. When we get together to make Bapuji's gift, I feel connected to Him. I picture him looking at my part of the gift and then thinking of me. You know how it is.

Nayna told me that the people who were allowed to go to India have already gone, and that Bapuji wouldn't want us to send things in the mail. I started to cry. Nayna felt bad and I had to keep telling her . . . that I just miss Bapuji and what I didn't say was I afraid that I won't see him again. Then, Nayna said what I couldn't believe . . . She said . . . You can give Bapuji your gift when he comes next year and I stopped crying. She also said that tomorrow when she talks to Bapuji she'll give Him my love. AND she said that I could e-mail to Him.

When Luke came in, I was very tired. And I was glad that I didn't have to cook--Thanks Boston Chicken.

12/7/09 Lunch in Zville, Hatha Class --Peace

Janice is an old friend from the long ago and far away. She used to study yoga with me at the Jewish Center. Then her young husband mysteriously died and she kind of dropped out of life, which I so understand. She moved to Arizona a year ago and now she's back.

I think she's coming back to life. She's come back to yoga class and she just looks happy again.

This morning we went for Brunch. She told me about a place in Zville that she'd heard about but hadn't tried yet. She picked me up in cute little red Cooper. A very smooth drive.

The restaurant was opened by the artist Nancy Noel. Inside it looks like a museum with beautiful paintings of angels, kids and animals. It's an old church with great stained glass windows and a sense of peace. A hush.

The other quests were mostly very old , cute little ladies with grey hair. Janice and I both ordered the chicken salad sandwich on a flaky bun. It was delicious. The coffee was good as well. We had fun talking about miracles and she wants to be part of the project. She's experienced a number of miracles herself. I need to get in touch with W David and see if he can film her before she goes back to Arizona for the winter.

We didn't get desert. AND I looked at the great chocolate treats that they were selling and didn't buy any. I am so proud of me. I listened to the angelites and not the impskies.

There was a heavy rain. Very beautiful and peaceful. MKate came to pick me up for class. The subject for contemplation was contentment. The energy flowed and every felt peaceful and happy afterwards.

We talked about this years present for Prem. Matt had a great idea--a decorated T shirt. You know how it is when the shakti flies--creativity flows.

12/7/09 Meditation Class, Costco, Commercials.

Rain woke me up this a.m. to tell me that she and her family are going to Conn to spend Chirstmas with Ry's parents. She and Violet were planning to stay with me while Ry and Xavier went to Conn. Sadly with the death of Whitey (Ry's grandpa) and other terrible troubles that the Ry's parents are suffering through --the kids are going to support them. I have to applaud them because they had to spend their Christmas $$$ to do this good deed.

Rain wants Luke and I to come with. Ry's parents really do up Chirstmas and she know that I'd enjoy that but $$$$$. Luke and I have so many things that need doing in the house. I don't know. Also, it's the HiNi thing. I'm still not at my top strength and MKate is worried that a plane ride would not do me any good. I don't know. (even though I do)

Meditation class was peaceful. Deeply peaceful. I let myself swim in the ocean of peace. Baba used to say that we have to distance ourselves from outward events. Sometimes it's harder than others but we have to try every day. What happens in the world is transient. What happens inside is eternal. I try to work on that every day.

After class, I went home and got ready for the dentist. The office had no heat. Evidently, the landlord doesn't care. The process wasn't too bad --if you don't mind having your jaw held open by a contraption. It's a good thing that Dr. H is fun and that his assistant is a perfect foil for him.

I went home to rest up. When MKate was finished working, we went to Costco for Christmas shopping. I had to get sweet items for Luke's secretaries. It was fun to see all the stuff. I'm almost finished shopping.

I'm thinking about peace and how you have to trust God. You have to put your hand in his. That's how my mom lived.

12/6/09 NMarket Matt and I rock, Movie night

I knew that Matt and I had a challenge on our hands with Christmas shopping going on and few customers in the store. We got busy. Also met a lot of nice people. People who will be back. We were worried about the bottom line. Matt went to the back of the store with Jeff. We hit a home run.

Bobby didn't sleep last night from worry and upset. We didn't eat dinner together. So . . . even though we couldn't go to the movies last night . . . . we got to go tonight. Matt told me that we should see "The Fantastic Mr Fox." He said --"It's been out for several weeks and it may not be in theatres next week." He also told me that I would be inspired by it . . . So even though it was cold and even though I was tired . . Luke and I went to the movies. It was a great movie. The characters were so much themselves--animals with a fantastical human side. We all make big mistakes and so does Mr Fox ---but he goes beyond and succeeds.

Go see it.

12/5/09 Lunch w Em--glam and Christ shopping

Em invited me to lunch today. I got to choose. Well, in our family we always try to get the other person or persons to pick the restaurant. Finally Em gave me a choice of three and I selected Cafe Patachou--not the one at Keystone that's not my fav but the extra cool one in Carmel that's new and has a brillant chef.

It has an elegant look to it and the food is delicious. The little shopping village where it's nestled is decorated for Chirstms and I could feel the happy holiday feelings begin to rise up. Memories of Luke and I walking the streets of NY on Chirstmas's past. Truding through the snow and peeking into the "fancy " stores. For some reason, I remember a display with red glassware and I promised myself when I had the money that I'd get some red glassware.

We have a fun but kind of deep conversation. The most serious for a long, long time. Personal-- adult to adult. Then, we went shopping at Target. I like shopping at Target. We were shopping for the kids--Xavier and Violet , Noah and Simon, and I's kids. They don't have anything--so Rain got them sneakers and pj's and Em and I got them winter coats, hat and mittens. I want to mail these out right away and then add boots later. I wish I could get them real shoes but it's hard. Kids feet have to be fitted. I pray that these gifts will be well received. Some of my friends are going to collect clothes that the kids might be able to use either now or when they get bigger. That's what Gramma's do.

Sooooo fun. Em and I got tired at the same time. You know . . . that's a big huge step for me.

Luke played his last concert with the orchestra at St L's. We are leaving the Church. I mentioned that MKate left some time ago. It just wasn't working for us. For a lot of reasons. We are looking forward to looking around and as Em pointed out we don't have to do it on a shedule. Maybe we're the kind of people who like to experience a lot of different worship styles. And that would be all right too. I pledge to stop talking about the journey with people who have an agenda for us. Enough said.

MKate and I fixed dinner. Shrimp with Blue Hake with onions and garlic in tomato sauce. I wanted to use coconut milk but had run out. It's so fun to cook with MKate. The sides were simple--green beans, corn and rice. Simple but very good. I like to flavor my veggies with cocout oil and une plume. Yummy.

I sooo admire the Iron Chefs. I soo wish I could cook like they do.

We watched the movie that we tried to watch last week--" Away We Go" Hummm. I liked the music because it reminded me of the music Luke and I listened to as kids. MKate didn't like the moive at all and went home. I'm not sure how to discribe my experience. I thought the basic tech was off. You couldn't hear all the dialogue. And the comic situations were so broad and exadurated that . . . it was hard to watch. One scene really hit it . . . . when the couple talks about love and gives their pledge to be faithful. That was sweet and touching. I'll remember that scene when I've forgotten better movies.

12/3/09 Dentist, Soup, Candles, Talking ????

Went to Dr Hanson. Last time it hurt to have my teeth cleaned. So I spoke up and asked Dr H to numb my mouth. He rubs this pink stuff on my gums which tastes like bubble gum. I guess they make it for kids. That's me. It feels great to honor myself.

Before he started working on me, Dr H, his fun dental tech and I just talked and laughed. Time went by and Dr H's next patient arrived. He was shocked that so much time had passed. When the shakti is strong time floats like a raft on water. Your talking or meditating and whoosh an hour has past.

In the waiting room, I met Dr H's mom and his youngest sister. So fun. I loved his mom. We talked and laughed.

I went to Panera's for black bean soup. It's good without being great. Now and again I like this soup. And you know, I turned down bread. I didn't need it. While I ate, I started reading a book on how to write a successful children's story. I'm planning to realize my dream of writing a kids story this year and reading this book (which I've had for years) is part of my plan. An idea has come up for me--meditation and hatha yoga for kids--with a North Indian slant a la Ashley. The book could work with the course I'm giving to the kids in X's school.

I was tired at this point. I went to Pier One to pick up puja candles and then went home for a rest.

I talked to a lot of people today. More than usual--I told you-- more talking has appeared in my life. I know it's the shakti.

12/2/09 Dr K NMarket

This morning I did well with time. I think that staying within a time frame helps to keep stress down. If you know you're going to be late, you might feel tight in your shoulders and chest. It's better for the body to stay relaxed. Everyone knows that, but . . . everyone's questions are --how, how, how.

Luke's back hurts. So he hasn't been able to fill the bird feeders. I had extra time this morning and was able to . . . .put out food for the birds. It was my first time filling the feeders. I had felt that it was going to be too hard for me with my cane. I took it one step at a time: fill the bucket with bird seed and peanuts in their shells for the squirrels, then go outside. It wasn't too cold. That was good. I didn't care if I dropped seeds because some birds prefer to eat from the ground and also the squirrels. I found it easy to fill the feeders. Yes. I wasn't sure if I would be able to clean the top feeder , but I can always ask Linda for help. I am finding more things easier than I thought. Confidence and gentle risk taking are good for the cells.

I looked out the window to see if Earl and Sita had found the peanuts. Oooops. The blue jays were out like dive bombers. They got every nut and the sqirrels didn't even though I'd put out their street. They were strong and pretty. There were about eight.

It was rainy and grey which I find peaceful. I drove to Dr K's in that peace. Peace is healthy--for the mind and the body. Duh, you say. Peace is there in most situations. You have to find it and revel in it to get the magic going. You have that choice with your whole life.

Dr K adjusted my back and brought it back into alinment. I could walk without the cane. I'm thinking about that. Maybe I can replicate that feeling. I have to think about it.

I went home to rest before NM. A beautiful grey cat with soft color patterns in her fir keeps trying to eat the birds. She doesn't catch them. Suddenly I realize. She's hungry. She's traveling with a thin orange cat. Did someone move and leave them behind. The little grey wants to come in. That makes me think that she had a home. I can't let her because Luke is allergic. It wouldn't be fair. I'm tempted but . . . .I put out tuna. The thin orange cat is so hungry. He eats.

At NMarket we had a quiet evening. It's raining hard. At the end of the evening, I talked to a customer who made me laugh. She eats like I do or like I used to. And she called about safflower oil for dieting. I think she'll come in on Sunday to see some ideas that I have about losing weight.

I was going to go home early but a customer stopped me. She wanted to talk about dieting as well. I went home in the rain. Again. When you don't have long to drive, rain is soft and brings you into the self.

12/1/09 Lots

This was a busy, busy day. I'm so tired and I'm not going to write a lot.

Highlights: Salon 7000. It's a warm family atmosphere. I miss Jeff. He had surgery and is still not cleared to work. Maybe after January.

MKate was sick. Eunice was sick. I picked up the vitamins that Eunice needed from MKate's house. It felt good to be able to help.

The Hatha Class was small but powerful. I needed to feel that deep peace.

11/30/09 Holy presence, Med class, con ride, shop

Last night, I woke up and felt a deep, soft, profound peace fillling the bedroom and inside my mind and heart. There was a holy presence in the room. I hoped that it was Prem.

Larry still has to sleep on the chair because it's too painful for him to get out of bed. But he was sleeping peacefully, very peacefully. More peacefully than usual and there was this amazing holy presence in the room. It was like going to sleep and waking up with God and his angels.

I woke up with a good feeling. My old friend, Janice, came to class. She looked great. I think she's finally coming back after losing her young husband and both her precious dogs. I admire her.

I started with a reading by Baba. He talks about how we focus on the outer world so much that we forget the divine inside and then we wonder why we aren't content and happy. This was a blessed class. Everyone felt it. Luke came as well, even though he had to sit on a chair and wasn't comfortable. I felt like the class reflected my experience with the Divine presence. I was able to slip into meditation and still have the class flow through me.

After class, Luke and I went for a conversation ride. We talked about his back problems, how to make Christmas a less stressful time, and how to go about looking for a new Church family.

The day was still moving through blessings. We were relaxed and decided to go pick up Em's gift from Saks. Saks was empty. Empty. We went to the perfume counter. I had already ordered and paid for the gift--Creed perfume--the one that was made for Audry Hepburn. Luke met an interesting man, an arab from Pakistan, who represents another cool perfume company--Bond. I love their bottles. I want one. He gave samples, but as much as I love these bottles, and the scents-- I LOVE the Creed perfume that was made for Grace Kelly. The salesman put it on my hand about 5:30. it's almost 11 and it still smells great. I love perfume.

Then we went to check out the new Macs. I thought I had a coupon for the new model but not for this store. We're going to check out the Bloomington store and see what the coupon is worth before we decide what to do.

Fun. Relaxed. We started early and so we're relaxed and enjoying the process. Luke and I have fun when we do things together--that's great for our lives and our cells. It brings joy.

11/29/09 NMarket , Dinner with Em and Bobby

On my way to the car, my neighbor stopped me and talked to me about her journey. She and her husband are getting a divorce. OMG they have baby twins. When they first moved in, I sensed a serious problem. People told me that I was over reacting.

I like my neighbors. But . . . . . I'll pray for both of them. I like them both and I love their dog. They are Diamond's parents. Diamond is gone now and I expect she won't be back.

People think it's okay to move in and out of marriages. All it does is create more and more unhappiness.

I got to Nature's Market a few minutes late. There was only one couple in the store and they were paying. Matt put away my purse.

Over the day, we had a few customers but they weren't spending much. You know, it's the holiday season and people are thinking about gifts. Most of them are at the malls spending their money. I am trying to think of some way to get people to see that health is the greatest gift and gifts of nutrients are precious.

A few customers wanted to talk. I mean talk and talk. Maybe we engendered good will. All that talking. Why. If it was just a few customers . . . but . . . it was many.

The rain began in ernest. I hoped that it would slow down before Matt and I had to leave the store. It didn't. Luckily I could borrow a rain coat so I didn't get soaked.

After a short rest, Luke and I went to have dinner with Bobby and Em. It was just the four of us. Bobby had a fight with Brian. So Brian's family didn't come. Bobby did tell us the details. Boring. Bobby is the boss and Brian works for him. So . . . . it's hard to work for you uncle. Very hard.

Bobby fixed the best salmon every. And he gave us enough to eat all week long. He called it our Jeopardy salmon because he knows that we eat dinner during that show. He also knows that I don't like to cook. I'm going to give him a really nice gift for the holidays.

We ate queitly. Talking and laughing. It was peaceful. I liked eating alone with the family.

OK what does this have to do with youth? Love and peace make your cells happy. And happy cells are young cells.

11/28/09 Resting, Video run, MKate brings dinner. Yum

Luke had a hard night, so I did too. He finally slept in lounge chair. It wasn't comfy but he did get some rest. I'm hoping and praying that he'll be able to sleep tonight.

At 7 pm, I left the house to get a video. Luke didn't think he could sit in a movie type chair and I was too tired. At the video store, I spent 30 minutes walking around and looking. I had Luke on the phone for the last run. We like funny movies and had seen most of the good ones. We finally found a movie that we missed--"Away We Go." The darn thing was defective after all that looking. So . . . we saw one of our fav old movies, "Lovers and Other Strangers." Some older movies are dated, but this one was funny and deep at the same time. The characters were real. Real for today as well as 40 years ago when it was filmed. Luke and I love this movie but I had forgotten some of the best parts.

MKate came by right from her daughter, Jennifer's, thanksgiving party. She brought most of the meal and it was yummmy: the turkey was tender and flavorful, home made apple sauce, green beans, squash in coconut butter, and MKate's amazing cole slaw. For dessert, pumpkin bread with a cream cheese icing and white wine. We ate as we watched. Personally I'm glad that the Block Buster video was bad because it gave us the chance to share the amazing "Lovers and Other Strangers."

11/27/28 After Thansgiving feasting at Runcible Spoon.

I got a little sleep after Luke got up for the day. Then I showered and got ready to meet the kids and littles. We were having breakfast at Rain's fav restaurant, " The Runcible Spoon." The coffee was awesome--Guatamala Gold. I had lots and fianlly woke up.

The kids were so sweet. Xavier sat near Gamma. We talked about Pet Society and MiniGolf Party. We just talk about things in general. He shared my bacon with me. It's maple syrup cured and delicious. X wanted us to stay and play, but I knew this would be bad for Luke and for me. I was so terribly tired and I drive home. Luke was in a lot of pain and all bent over.

After a delightful breakfast, we head for home.

We're really too tired to talk.

I'm still thinking about what Violet said when Em. Rain, Violet and I had lunch together. We were talking about who should pick up the bill. Violet (age two) looked up with my mom's look on her little face and she said, "I'll get it guys." I mean she's two years old.

What a great Thanksgiving.

11/26/09 THANKSGIVING with the LITTLES

Luke had a bad back ache which puts him in mind of terrible, terrible times in the past. No need to go there again. We are slowed down, but I think that it will be all right. I think we have until 2:00pm before we have to be ready to walk out our door.

Friends. Ricky is coming, after nine or more months (I could have had a baby) to install the vanity in Luke's bathroom. I thought that we agreed that he would come at 2:00 and we would be out of the house. I'd rather not see him. What is there left to say? My son-in-law arrainged for the installation. He is a busy man and he's in our driveway a little after 1pm. At first I panic. I can't have Luke rushing around with a bad back. The phone calls go back and forth. Finally, I decide to shove things in a bag and leave.

I don't know if Ricky will come or not. He's promised to come before and then made excuses. I don't even care anymore. Really. Luke and I are ready to buy another vanity and have someone from Lowes install it.

We get on the road. Whew. We have a very fun subject to talk about. I'm not telling yet. Remember when I got this financial success angel in my e-mail? Well. all I had to do was to send it to 4 people to have an amazing success with $$$$. It looks like . . a yes. I can't tell you just yet. Please don't ask me.

We make our Starbucks stop. Luke fixes my coffee with a dash of vanilla. It's yum. Just like the day.

We check into the Memorial Union at IU. Luke checks in and I wait in the car. Even though his back is acting up he goes all manly and insists on dragging up our luggage. Do you think you could stop a determined Luke? Well, I can't.

Finally we're heading for Rain and Ryan's place. Rain has cooked up a storm. What a hostess. Honestly if she had space I don't know what she would do. Her friends were fun and sweet and had two precious little kids. A girl, Brooke, who is near Xavier's age and a little boy who is older than Violet. She goes all shy and just wants to watch t.v. and suck her passifier. She's tired and that usually prevents her from eating.

Let me describe my fav dishes: mac and chesse--a la Emeril, Rain's stuffing (OMG), and her sweet potato and marshmallow dish. Soooo good. Let's not forget the deserts. She baked four different desert breads--one with a thick delicious cream cheese icing.

I brought some fruit snacks for V and after eating I think she felt better. But she didn't want to play. I like it that Rain and Ryan go with her natural flow.

We had so much fun with Rain and Ry's friends. They are natural, intellligent and don't mind making jokes. Although Luke and I didn't know them before, we felt that we did after the party. What amazing, sweet parents. They know how to have fun with their kids. Brooke did a magic show for us, with her dad's help. And Xander sang songs to the new kareoke application on WII.

At one point, Brooke and Xavier were playing near the fireplace. They were both so tired. Brooke put her little head against Xavier and it was like this sweet moment of trust and love.

After the family left, Rain and Ry and Luke and I sat around the livingroom with Rocky and had fun talking and joking around. Rocky is a very, very cute dog. He has these big expressive eyes and he knows how to communicate with them. He usually gets at least a part of what he wants (in this case, turkey)

We laughed and talked until 11:00 pm. Yes, Luke was in pain. And yes we had a hard night but it was all worth it.

11/25/09 DrK, NMarket, Dinner w Em And Bobby

I got up early to leave the house at 10 and be at Dr K by 10:30. Laugh if you want but I stay up late and getting my act together by 10 means that I don't do my prayers or my exercises. Still, a few months ago the impskies would have convinced me that I couldn't be showered and ready under any circumstances. I get up now. I don't day dream. And I take my vitamins and go into the shower. I might look at the birds at the bird feeder for a few minutes.

I forgot to tell you about Sita (squirrel) and the kitty. (yesterdays news) Sita is skiddish and shy. She tends to freeze. Her body will be stretched out on a tree head down and she freezes like a squirrel rug. Yesterday, she was in her half way pose but she was scolding and scolding. At the foot of the tree was a young grey and white cat. Her white tipped tail was waving back and forth like a warrior. If the Sita were to come down and challenge the warrior catlet, neither would know what to do with the other. They would have run in opposite direction. So funny to watch . Sita would run half way around the tree and kitty would run to the opposite side. And then back again. Like a dance.

Today there were three squirrels eating bird seed at the bottom of the feeder.

NM was quiet. I helped a few people. Most were either getting ready for Thanksgiving or Chirstmas shopping. I prayed that more people would come in and spend $$$$. The traffic did pick up. Then I got tired. Totally exhausted. Luckily it was time for me to go home.

I sat on the sofa and rested. Suddenly the phone began to ring. Em invited us to dinner with her and Bobby--at their fav restaurant Amber Indian. In lieu of our having Thanksgiving dinner together. I would probably have said that I was too tired, but we're spending Thanksgiving in B town with the littles, so . . . . We're lucky that our kids want to spend time with us. Very.

O.K. I said the phone began to ring. I meant the phones. My land line and my cell. Chris our Schwan's guy, Em, Rain . . . . and so on. . . all at once. I had to call people back. It's weird when that happens. I thought Chirs was very young--maybe 20. He's not and this is what happened to him because he was mistreated during a buy out--working with Schwans. The company that took over from the company he worked for . . . . He had to leave. Now he has to support a family with older kids on his Schwan's salary. It's hard. So I always try to buy from him. If we don't need any food, I buy for the kids.

I was so very tired on the way to Amber Indian. I prayed that God would protect me and give me strength. It was raining and chilly. I used my red umbrella. Inside I got hot Indian tea right away. Sometimes that will keep me awake. OK I'm strange. If Em gets the tea, I get it too and it doesn't keep me awake. (copy catism) Actually, two cups will keep me awake. Usually I can get by with one and it's soooo yummmy. I got tandoree shimp. It was perfectly spiced and perfectly cooked.

Em was telling us funny work stories. Peyton Place. But sooo funny. We just laughed and listened to Elvis. And laughed some more. It's great to eat with Em and Bobby because they are so funny.

"Every time I trust my gut it comes out better." Kevin, Top Chef. I like that quote.

11/24/09 I do it. Hatha Class rocks

Okay. I did it. After going back and forth for years, I decide to join Costco. I wasn't sure that I'd actually save money. But after seeing the Christmas present possibilities--I knew that I would save before the season was over.

MKate came to pick me up. She wanted to share the big moment. She's been a member of Costco for some time. She's been picking up Luke's snack treats (that you can only get at Costco) and now I can do it myself. She was excited about that.

As we were waiting for me to sign up, who should I see? My dentist, Dr Hanson--the funniest dentist ever. You're glad to go to his office, even if you're not glad to have the work done. Now the strange thing was that I had just gotten my post card reminding me to shedule an appointment for my cleaning.

I found a great DVD for Xavier for Chirstmas. He loves Scooby Doo and this is a new one that he doesn't have. Salad materials for Rain and Ry's Thanksgiving party. And some sparkling water for my diet. Costco is fun but dangerous. They are always giving out lots and lots of fattening snacks. I'm glad that I didn't eat lunch. The cheese cake snacks were so delicious that I couldn't bring myself to buy any of the cakes and have them in the house --even as a gift for someone else.

At the end of the shopping trip, I was pretty tired. I went home to rest before class.

I had a new student who was excellent. A great part of the class. Too bad that she is only visiting her parents.

The class was sweet and peaceful. I felt the shakti and I love that. The best thing about being a yoga teacher is my own experience of peace in each class.

11/23/09 Med Class, Conversation, 1/2 price books

How is my battle going with the impskies? Well, eating wise they have won a few. But I'm not back to the big eat and I probably never will be. Some of my choices have not been the best--too much sugar. You know. For Sunday breakfast I had a pancake with my egg and bacon meal. I shared the bacon with Xavier, and I gave a piece of the pancake to Violet. So . I didn't eat my whole breakfast but I did have the breakfast I like best. I skipped lunch.

However, my control of time is getting better and better. With the new control of time, has come a lifting of the tamsic fog that used to slow me down. Even though I am still not back energy wise . . . I am awake. Hum . . It's like the title of my old gyn's book, "Awake, Aware and Participating." That's how I feel.

I was very tired during the meditation class. I slid into meditation myself and felt very, very peaceful. I read a quote by Camus where he says that in the winter of life we all have an eternal summer with in-- that is what all the great saints of all the great traditions say --the eternal light lives within.

Then Luke and I took our conversation ride. We talked about his work shedule and how he needs to shedule himself with respect so that he doesn't get so completely exhausted. We're also talking about the sabbatical. It will be a first for Luke, time wise. More on this later.

We spent a little time in the 1/2 price bookstore. Luke got me a wonderful book on Hindu Temples and I got some treasures of my own.

11/22/09 La Peep w kids, NMarket, Din w Em & Bobby

The kids are here with the littles. It's nice to have them spend the night. Today for the first time, I show Xavier some yoga postures. I hope to give him the strength of a mountain. Afterwards he draws an amazing mountain for me and a strong tree. But wait. He draws an eruption in red. One person is dead. Another realizes that he will someday die. Xavier is not scared. He is having a yogic realization. We spend time talking.

Violet comes in to the bedroom where I practice yoga. She wants to climb onto our bed. She's small but determined. She works and works and finally makes it. She says, "Whew, I did it." So like something my mom would say. V has that spirit of determination under odds. Yes. I helped her down.

We had breakfast at La Peep. They are nice to families with little ones. We got an end table where V could walk around and play. She's not a big eater. I sit beside X and we talk quietly. I have a breakfast that I like--eggs, pancakes, and bacon. I won't do it often, but I did enjoy this breakfast today.

I got to NM and it was quiet. Very soon, people started coming in and YES spending money.

I met some new customers. I feel that they will be back. It's always great to work with Matt. Matt is a hard worker and he's willing to serve customers. I like that.

Also, Matt has an ear for comedy and some of our customers are very funny. One woman called Matt and asked if the red Henna had more red in it than the brown Henna. What?

We had dinner with Bobby and Em. We ate at Ocean World. Bobby must know everyone in Indy--especially those who eat at Ocean World. We always laugh when we eat with the kids. We found out that Bobby has back pain. He came over after dinner and we shared some back pain stuff with him.

11/21/09 Family , Plum's Upstairs, and other fun

I got up in time to shower, do a few prayers and get ready to leave. Rain, Violet and I left the house at 10:30 to meet Em in Zionsville for lunch at Plum's Upstairs.

For the most part, Violet acted like a little lady. We were able to have adult conversation and enjoy your food. This is the first time that their food was tops--the french pressed coffee was too weak and not hot and thier signiture tomato soup was also not hot enough. I think that if it happened again, I would say something, but the magic of Plums was still there. The cheese plate was fattening but delicious. They had a spicey cream cheese tucked into a small lettuce leaf, Irish cheese, and a soft, sweet cheese that was Em's favorite, mixed on a long plate with nuts, grains, and dried cranberry bits--also a tiny loaf of crusty French bread, and sweet toast bits.

We went to Leslie Jane's . The cloths were very young. I didn't see anything I liked and neither did Rain. Violet enjoyed herself but I could tell that she was getting tired. I probably won't go there again unless I manage to drop a few dress sizes.

Em went on to her appointment. Rain and I stopped by the art mall and I picked up the black and white painting that I liked. I don't think that this shop does a brisk business, so they are happy about every sale. I know the artist will be happy.

At home, Rain and Ryan had plans to meet an old friend at the Broad Ripple park. Xavier didn't want to go, but they took V. He and I played various games on the computer and had quiet fun.

By the time Rain, Ryan and Veronica came home, the kids were tired. Rain and Ryan wanted to go to the half price book store. The kids stayed home with gramma and watched Max and Ruby adventures. Max and Ruby are top favorite children's characters with me as well as the kids. At a certain point, Violet was tired and hungry. I cut up a pear for her and called her parents.

As soon as they got home we headed for Puccini's. I was very, very tired. The kids were tired. V was a little fussy, and she didn't eat much, but I did manage to get some pizza into her and a few swallows of milk. We took home 4 take out containers.

Luke was wasted by this week's shedule. He knows he needs to plan better. We're both working on better time decisions.

I'm too tired. When I feel chilled, I know I have to get into bed early and I will.

11/19/09 Locks rekeyed, Tire repaired, Nordstroms

The locksmiths were on time. You know, I had to decide. If you don't want to waste mental energy and cause yourself needless stress, you make a decision and move on. I don't know if Ricky is dangerous? I don't know why a man with his ability keeps messing up. Time after time. But I know that I had enough doubt to be uncomfortable in my home while he had a key to my front door. And he wouldn't give it back. They came and fixed our front door which has never been right, and rekeyed all the locks. Whew.

While they were here, I put out peanuts for the squirrels. It was raining so I threw them onto the deck right in front of our back door. Those squirrels went nuts. I mean it. It was as though I had soaked the nuts in gin or vodka. Earl went so crazy that he tried to climb up the outer wall of the house--more than once. You could hear his little paws crambling against the wood. I don't know where he thought he was going. The other two Sita and a new comer, sat on the back of the lawn chairs looking right at me through the window. I'm going to think twice about giving them those peanuts again.

I went to Firestone to see about the tire. And I'm so glad that I did. It seems that this "thing" in the tire (that lets you fill it with air) was damaged. It could have caused a bad accident. I'm blessed that I was able to pull over so fast and have the tire seen to. I'm also blessed that I didn't believe AAA that all was now well in the tire department and that I had Firestone do a deeper check on the problem. It didn't make sense to me that the tire suddenly, for no reason, developed a slow leak. So Firestone fixed the core problem and I should be good to go now.

I went home to rest. MKate and I were venturing down town to Nordstroms where I expected to see a line of Think shoes. I was tired. And you know, I had to really need those shoes to haul a . . . . downtown to look for them. When I got to the once fabulous Nordstrom's shoe dept, I could see that the recession had done this great store a lot of harm. They had a line of very young shoes--5 inch heels. Even models sometimes have trouble walking in them.

When I asked for help, the salesman was unenthusiastic. He looked in the back and found one pair of Thinks that I didn't like. After that he wasn't interested in helping me. I got pissy. We looked at a few more items--jewelry and scarves and hair items but we weren't happy shoppers anymore. MKate couldn't find shoes either. I was sorry that I lost it, even a little. I think I was very tired and that my blood sugar was down from not eating lunch.

I apologized to God and He forgave me. I hope that I don't do that again. More compassion, less ego.

11/18/09 Dr K, NMarket,

Rain and squirrels. Lots of birds. I have no time to eat breakfast. But I do have a few minutes to make coffee and watch the birds. Sita (squirrel) was eating seeds under the bird feeder. A big blue jay was eating and singing. He was excited to see food--easy to find and eat. What a pretty animal. (Is a bird an animal?)

I'm a little concerned about my tire. It's fine but I won't be making any long trips without having Firestone checks my tires. Also, I'd love to have Nissen check out the whole deal. Something is wrong when your car moos at you--even though it's intermittant.

Dr K adjusts me. I'm not working on changing my body, just keeping things balanced. When I'm stronger, I'll go back to the changing. I was worried that Dr Mike wouldn't like the present I brought for him. He did like it!!! He's been so nice to me, working with me free, and believing in me. I could have stayed and worked with him this morning but . . . . I was very tired and needed to pick up Boston Chicken and go home.

My first job for NM was banking. While I drove I thought about ideas for Christmas songs. I have this thought about Christmas angels. Wanting to be someone's Christmas angel. To serve God and to bring happiness into someone else's life.

NM was quiet. Greg told me that a better job has come up for him. I'm very happy for Greg but feel very sad for our store and for MKate and Jeff. Greg is quality in every way. How to replace him? God will have to help.

Maybe my mom in heaven will send blessings.

I talked to a customer that I've known for a long time. He started talking about his early life. His mom left the family right when his dad had a serious accident with both his feet. He was depressed and miserable for most of his life. I had asked him what his defining religious moment was. (a la St Philip) He said that he used to visit a prof and his wife. Very educated. Very inspiring. One day a young woman came to visit the couple. She invited him to her church. He was this hippy with long hair and the "look." The church members welcomed him. Invited him to their houses for food. He liked the feeling. Loving and accepting. One day, he went up to the alter and . . . . the love of God poured into his heart. And at that moment his depression and sleeplessness left. For good. And he dedicated his life to Chirst.

He's got a gentle way about him. He always asks how you are. He seems to care, and I quess he does.

At home I worked on my painting. It's coming along.

Also, my favorite model won American's next top model. I believe that all the top girls will have success. Nicole was my favorite. She was a nerd at school, with noone to eat lunch with. Through the process of the competition Nicole grew in stature and confidence and I was happy for her when she won.

11/17/09 Rain & squirrels, Car mishap and Hatha Yoga

I woke up to a dark and rainy sky. The world outside my window is always full of life and the changes in the seasons. Most of the leaves are fallen. Only a few stray gold brush strokes remain. I had a wonderful experience with the squirrels. Sita was outside eating the left over seeds. Suddenly, while I was doing my Hatha Yoga , I looked up and Sita (the squirrel--Earl's girl friend) was balanced on the end of a fragile branch --on the tree that Carl saved. She was looking right at me. I do my practice to a chant and she was listening as well. She must be a spiritual soul spending time in an animal body. She watched for some time. It was a wonderful sight.

The rain was coming down hard. Rain is beautiful. It makes me happy to see dark skies and rain pouring down.

I am heading for the bank when I hear a sound which I think is coming from the back of my car. It sounds like stones rattling around. It got louder and I thought ----ooops. Then I started to lose control of the wheel. I got off the road as soon as possible and called AAA. Also, MKate who always has my back. I'm not the kind of person who wants tons of friends, but the ones I have are great and amazing. I know that I'll always be there for MKate--whatever she might need and I know it's visa versa. She said she come for me if need be. I know she needed a little rest, but still she was willing.

I told the phone lady from AAA that I was still recovering from HiNi and that I hoped that the repair guy would come sooner rather than later. And he did. I was worried that there was a serious problem with the car. It was only a tire problem. But still, I'll have to talk it over with Firestone. The tire came loose from the rim (or something). If I had driven any longer, the tire would have gone flat and I would have lost control. So thank you God that it was no big deal. However, the AAA guy could not tell me why this came about. As long as Ricky has my house key, I'm going to be concerned. So I came right home and called a lock smith. That will end that worry. Then, I'll get "the " letter to Ricky together and mail it to Dan. Well, people it was strange.

Carl worked in the rain all day. He came in to collect his hard earned check and to talk about his spiritual path and mine. He is so smart. So amazingly smart. I'm just in awe and so is MKate.

Hatha Yoga was lyric. Not as rich spiritually as the meditation class but sweet and beautiful like a river on a summer day. I can still feel the peace. Oh Lord, thank you that yoga is in my life, blessing me and my dear ones.

11/16/09 Meditation Class Rocks, Em and I shop

This morning I woke up meditating on what it would be like to experience the ecstacy of the Divine. Last night I read an article on Saint Philip Neri, the Joyful, Apostle of Rome. I love to hear about people's defining experiences of the presence of God. Here is Philip's " One of his favorite retreats was the catacombs of Saint sebastian, where he would stay for hours in silent contemplation. It was during a visit to the catacombs that the central spiritual experience of his life occurred. As he sat praying to the HOly Spirit, he saw a globe of fire coming swiftly toward him from above. IT entered him through his mouth and on reaching his heart, began expanding, filling his whole being with flames of divine bliss, setting him on fire with love for God and all people. Thereafter, whenever he prayed, the heat of that inner fire remained with him; his heart actually enlarged, and the heartbeat intensified: it is said that it literally shook the furniture in his room with its vibrations. At times he would be so overwhelmed with bliss that he would cry out, Non ki piu, Dio Mio, "No more, my God! I am only a mortal man."

The effects of his experience were more than symbolic. When he pressed the anxious heads of troubled, tormented people to his heart, they would be filled with peace.

I love this reading. It reminds me that we all have this possibility within us. And I believe that we have all had our own experiences of the profound joy of God. Only we tend to give credit to mundane occurances: falling in love, eating great ice cream, having a fewa drinks and so on. My teachers have all said that what these experiences do is to silence our minds so that who we really are comes to the fore.

Meditation class came from a place far beyond my consciuos mind. The divine was in the room with us. I cried. MKate cried. Every one experienced that deep state when you come into contact with the Truth. Wow. I am so lucky and so blessed.

Then I went home to rest. Carl was working on the trees, repeating his mantras. I could feel the holiness.

Mkate and I went shopping. We went to Costco. I have been thinking of becoming a member. The fee is $50.00, so I'd have to know I'd get my $$$$ worth. I was particularly interested in the vacs. We gave our good vac to Rain and Ryan, now that we have new carpeting . . . we need a vac. MKate has the all amazing Dison with roller ball--the elite of vacs. I have the money on my little Monavie card (from when I did the business), but is that how I want to spend it? I feel like I could get a Hoover for $150. and save the rest for Christmas. Dison's are upwards of $550. Yes, good vacs, elite vacs are expensive.

I tasted primo cheese cake (Costco always gives out samples). I bought great asparagus (almost reason enough to join), but I don't know? Would I really go more than a few times a year. Would I really save?

I'm undecided about Costco, leaning toward not joining. And I'm undecided about the vac, leaning toward the Hoover or another less expensive machine. But in my minds eye, I see myself vacuuming away with my glam Dison. So what will I do? And what does this have to do with an ecstatic experience of God? Well, I believe that it does.

All the great saints have said, offer all you do to God. Be glad. Be ecstatic , be grateful. In ALL you do.

I got tired and we had to go home after Costco. MKate came over for a slice of Bobby's pizza. She loved it. Then she had a slice of Em's bday cake. She loved that also. We wanted to give her the other half of the magic cake because Jeff (her wonderful husband) deserves great cake and the rest of her precious family does as well. Really, MKate's family is sooo sweet. And she loves my family as well.

11/15/09 La Peep, NM and Em's family party

Tim came to install the new carpet in the meditation room. I love the way the carpet looked in Tim's truck but I didn't get the chance to see the carpet put down. Dr Logan didn't want me to be in the house when the carpet was pulled and the new installed.

Luke and I decided to eat breakfast out. We usually don't do that. We ate at La Peep. I like several dishes that they make. I had a diet breakfast with extra food to take to NM for lunch. Scrambled eggs with potatoes and turkey sausage and lots of coffee. The coffee had so much flavor. Luke and I were both impressed. I took half the sausage to work on wheat toast (no butter)

The scene inside NM is changing. I think that Matt and I were inspired last week and things that everyone knew should be done were done to change the decor inside the store. Bapuji's grace is moving through the store like the wind. More customers came in and spent

$$$. So exciting.

I was exhausted at the end of the day. Exhausted. I can't even tell you-- cold and shaky. I knew I had to rest every second that I could before heading for Em's family party.

I had 45 min to rest. Then we packed the car and left. We were bringing the cake which is like the jewel of the party meal. It looked so beautiful. I loved how the flowers covered the whole top of the cake and I thought that the Ace of Cakes would be proud.

Bobby made his amazing pizzas. One was a copy of "Big Red, " from Pucinis. Half had just a little jam on it. Sooooo delicious. He also made my fav with mushrooms and fake meat. I can't imagine a better tasting pizza with the only problem being that I want to eat more than I should.

No, I didn't. I'm listening to the Angelites more. People notice that I look thinner. That inspires me.

Jennifer had good news. Out of 22 kids on her dance team, only 6 were chosen for the elite group and she was one of those six. What a kid. She didn't have dance as a young girl. She had to work so hard to come up to speed.

Nicole and William came a little late. It was great to see both of them after so many months.

We had great conversations but .. . I'm too tired to write anymore. I'm cold and shivering so I'm praying that I feel better tomorrow.

11/14/09 Em loves bday dinner, birds, movie night

Called Em. Just wanted to know what she thought about her bday party. She loved it. Well, what's not to love at Villagios and the company was great. Luke and I shared our fav memories of Em as a baby and little girl; Bobby shared his fav memories of Em when they first met. It was fun and the food was amazing. I skipped lunch so I could have a pasta in cream sauce dish. I got one with juicy shrimp and scallops. Good scallops are one of my fav foods ever.

But I was happy to hear her say that she loved it.

I went to a new location in Carmel to pick up the cake I ordered for Em's family bday on Sunday.

Directions are not easy for me. I get nervous when I'm going somewhere that I haven't been before. I followed the simple directions that Luke got for me and voila . . . . I found Classic Cakes. I was thinking of getting a cookie while I was there. As I drove up, someone was leaving in their dark red car. I pulled right in. Thanks angels and I pledged not to eat a cookie. Surprizingly, Classic Cakes doesn't make cookies or any other sweets. They specialize in cakes. I held my breath as they brought out Em's cake. It was . . . . better than Taylors. Much more creative and prettier with more roses.

The woman who helped me out with the big box asked me how old our Princess was (I had them write--Happy Birthday to our Princess--on the cake). I said 21. Well, why not. She looks 21. Then the woman shared about her family. Her daughter is getting married very soon. She told me that they are planning to have over 300 people. That's a lotta cake. Then she wanted to tell me about her up coming operation. I know that she was really sharing that part with Bapuji.

By the time I got home, I was tired and needed to rest. Soon Linda came by to help set up our heated bird bath. It was fun. She nestled the bath near our cactus plant between some decorative rocks. And we put out peanuts (in shell) for the squirrels.

Carl was there working on the trees. I quess he doesn't like (like) Linda. I thought they'd have a lot in common but . . . not. Oh well.

Movie night. We decided to see, "An Education, " which got 3 1/2 stars. We had dinner at Chipotle, and went on to the movie just in time to get decent seats. MKate, Luke and I all loved the movie and will be thinking about the message for sometime to come. MKate and I had decaf coffee. I fixed the popcorn with sweet surprises. Yummmy.

This is a period movie about a young girl's search for meaning in a world that undervalued women. Just before taking her college exams, she meets an older man who charms her and charms her parents as well. He shows her an easy way into a glam adult life. He takes her to concerts, bars, on week-end trips and finally to Paris. Only . . . at the end, he turns out to be married, and the girl almost loses her chance to go to college. She says . . . I wanted to do things the easy way. . . . it doesn't work that way. I'm thinking about that message.

11/11/09 Dr K, Marsh makes me cry, NM

Luke and I go to Dr K. After he works on me, I walk for at least 5 minutes withoug discomfort.

Very, very cool and very promising for the future. Driving home, Luke and I have a last discussion about the "Ricky (bad handiman) " situation. We are on the same page and when I can I will finish the "letter " to Ricky that will let him know what we expect. I'll be happy when this lesson is over and I hope that I learn what my part in it was.

At home, we eat lunch and go our separate ways. Luke goes to work, and I hurry to Marsh to see if I can select a birthday cake for Em. I only have 45 minutes before I need to be at work. I scoot into Marsh to check out the possible cakes. I like to give really amazing cakes and I am really disappointed. When I think about bringing one of the cakes I'm looking at to Em's family party on Sunday, I get sad and think about crying ( baby). But I can't order one of these cakes that look like I could do better. I remember the cakes that I used to make for the kids when they were little. Castle cakes and various fun bunnies and other animals.

I remember that there is a catering co off Michigan and I head for that establishment which I have never been to before. I am almost ready to give up when I see it to my right. It's took late to turn right and I have to do a U turn. I can't say that I did it safely and someone honked me. I apologized to God and thank, thanked Him for sparing me. I finally got to this little catering store, and quess what--it's right near the Wild Birds Store. But, they don't have any samples to look at AND they don't use butter cream which is what Em especially wanted.

I ask for a suggestion and they give me the name of a place in Carmel, near Dr L's office and near my fav Taylors. I order by phone. I wish I could see the cake first, but don't think that will be possible. So, I'm going to trust them.

At NM, I am working with books. I LOVE books and I love to see the new ones. I was interested in a book about healing the body through food. I have to check that out when I have time.

Linda comes to work as I am leaving. She tells me that she will help me set up the heated bird bath and the squirrel feeder. I'm happy about that. She also tells me that it's best to feed squirrels a little bit at a time--I quess the food could get soggy if you don't.

Those little guys are so adorable at this time of year. Eating and saving and running up and down the trees. I love to see Earl when he stands on his back feet and lifts his little paws up to munch something yummy.

I didn't think I'd like the flower guy on t.v. But he's an artist and can transform a room with flowers. So beautiful. So amazing.