11/30/09 Holy presence, Med class, con ride, shop

Last night, I woke up and felt a deep, soft, profound peace fillling the bedroom and inside my mind and heart. There was a holy presence in the room. I hoped that it was Prem.

Larry still has to sleep on the chair because it's too painful for him to get out of bed. But he was sleeping peacefully, very peacefully. More peacefully than usual and there was this amazing holy presence in the room. It was like going to sleep and waking up with God and his angels.

I woke up with a good feeling. My old friend, Janice, came to class. She looked great. I think she's finally coming back after losing her young husband and both her precious dogs. I admire her.

I started with a reading by Baba. He talks about how we focus on the outer world so much that we forget the divine inside and then we wonder why we aren't content and happy. This was a blessed class. Everyone felt it. Luke came as well, even though he had to sit on a chair and wasn't comfortable. I felt like the class reflected my experience with the Divine presence. I was able to slip into meditation and still have the class flow through me.

After class, Luke and I went for a conversation ride. We talked about his back problems, how to make Christmas a less stressful time, and how to go about looking for a new Church family.

The day was still moving through blessings. We were relaxed and decided to go pick up Em's gift from Saks. Saks was empty. Empty. We went to the perfume counter. I had already ordered and paid for the gift--Creed perfume--the one that was made for Audry Hepburn. Luke met an interesting man, an arab from Pakistan, who represents another cool perfume company--Bond. I love their bottles. I want one. He gave samples, but as much as I love these bottles, and the scents-- I LOVE the Creed perfume that was made for Grace Kelly. The salesman put it on my hand about 5:30. it's almost 11 and it still smells great. I love perfume.

Then we went to check out the new Macs. I thought I had a coupon for the new model but not for this store. We're going to check out the Bloomington store and see what the coupon is worth before we decide what to do.

Fun. Relaxed. We started early and so we're relaxed and enjoying the process. Luke and I have fun when we do things together--that's great for our lives and our cells. It brings joy.

11/29/09 NMarket , Dinner with Em and Bobby

On my way to the car, my neighbor stopped me and talked to me about her journey. She and her husband are getting a divorce. OMG they have baby twins. When they first moved in, I sensed a serious problem. People told me that I was over reacting.

I like my neighbors. But . . . . . I'll pray for both of them. I like them both and I love their dog. They are Diamond's parents. Diamond is gone now and I expect she won't be back.

People think it's okay to move in and out of marriages. All it does is create more and more unhappiness.

I got to Nature's Market a few minutes late. There was only one couple in the store and they were paying. Matt put away my purse.

Over the day, we had a few customers but they weren't spending much. You know, it's the holiday season and people are thinking about gifts. Most of them are at the malls spending their money. I am trying to think of some way to get people to see that health is the greatest gift and gifts of nutrients are precious.

A few customers wanted to talk. I mean talk and talk. Maybe we engendered good will. All that talking. Why. If it was just a few customers . . . but . . . it was many.

The rain began in ernest. I hoped that it would slow down before Matt and I had to leave the store. It didn't. Luckily I could borrow a rain coat so I didn't get soaked.

After a short rest, Luke and I went to have dinner with Bobby and Em. It was just the four of us. Bobby had a fight with Brian. So Brian's family didn't come. Bobby did tell us the details. Boring. Bobby is the boss and Brian works for him. So . . . . it's hard to work for you uncle. Very hard.

Bobby fixed the best salmon every. And he gave us enough to eat all week long. He called it our Jeopardy salmon because he knows that we eat dinner during that show. He also knows that I don't like to cook. I'm going to give him a really nice gift for the holidays.

We ate queitly. Talking and laughing. It was peaceful. I liked eating alone with the family.

OK what does this have to do with youth? Love and peace make your cells happy. And happy cells are young cells.

11/28/09 Resting, Video run, MKate brings dinner. Yum

Luke had a hard night, so I did too. He finally slept in lounge chair. It wasn't comfy but he did get some rest. I'm hoping and praying that he'll be able to sleep tonight.

At 7 pm, I left the house to get a video. Luke didn't think he could sit in a movie type chair and I was too tired. At the video store, I spent 30 minutes walking around and looking. I had Luke on the phone for the last run. We like funny movies and had seen most of the good ones. We finally found a movie that we missed--"Away We Go." The darn thing was defective after all that looking. So . . . we saw one of our fav old movies, "Lovers and Other Strangers." Some older movies are dated, but this one was funny and deep at the same time. The characters were real. Real for today as well as 40 years ago when it was filmed. Luke and I love this movie but I had forgotten some of the best parts.

MKate came by right from her daughter, Jennifer's, thanksgiving party. She brought most of the meal and it was yummmy: the turkey was tender and flavorful, home made apple sauce, green beans, squash in coconut butter, and MKate's amazing cole slaw. For dessert, pumpkin bread with a cream cheese icing and white wine. We ate as we watched. Personally I'm glad that the Block Buster video was bad because it gave us the chance to share the amazing "Lovers and Other Strangers."

11/27/28 After Thansgiving feasting at Runcible Spoon.

I got a little sleep after Luke got up for the day. Then I showered and got ready to meet the kids and littles. We were having breakfast at Rain's fav restaurant, " The Runcible Spoon." The coffee was awesome--Guatamala Gold. I had lots and fianlly woke up.

The kids were so sweet. Xavier sat near Gamma. We talked about Pet Society and MiniGolf Party. We just talk about things in general. He shared my bacon with me. It's maple syrup cured and delicious. X wanted us to stay and play, but I knew this would be bad for Luke and for me. I was so terribly tired and I drive home. Luke was in a lot of pain and all bent over.

After a delightful breakfast, we head for home.

We're really too tired to talk.

I'm still thinking about what Violet said when Em. Rain, Violet and I had lunch together. We were talking about who should pick up the bill. Violet (age two) looked up with my mom's look on her little face and she said, "I'll get it guys." I mean she's two years old.

What a great Thanksgiving.

11/26/09 THANKSGIVING with the LITTLES

Luke had a bad back ache which puts him in mind of terrible, terrible times in the past. No need to go there again. We are slowed down, but I think that it will be all right. I think we have until 2:00pm before we have to be ready to walk out our door.

Friends. Ricky is coming, after nine or more months (I could have had a baby) to install the vanity in Luke's bathroom. I thought that we agreed that he would come at 2:00 and we would be out of the house. I'd rather not see him. What is there left to say? My son-in-law arrainged for the installation. He is a busy man and he's in our driveway a little after 1pm. At first I panic. I can't have Luke rushing around with a bad back. The phone calls go back and forth. Finally, I decide to shove things in a bag and leave.

I don't know if Ricky will come or not. He's promised to come before and then made excuses. I don't even care anymore. Really. Luke and I are ready to buy another vanity and have someone from Lowes install it.

We get on the road. Whew. We have a very fun subject to talk about. I'm not telling yet. Remember when I got this financial success angel in my e-mail? Well. all I had to do was to send it to 4 people to have an amazing success with $$$$. It looks like . . a yes. I can't tell you just yet. Please don't ask me.

We make our Starbucks stop. Luke fixes my coffee with a dash of vanilla. It's yum. Just like the day.

We check into the Memorial Union at IU. Luke checks in and I wait in the car. Even though his back is acting up he goes all manly and insists on dragging up our luggage. Do you think you could stop a determined Luke? Well, I can't.

Finally we're heading for Rain and Ryan's place. Rain has cooked up a storm. What a hostess. Honestly if she had space I don't know what she would do. Her friends were fun and sweet and had two precious little kids. A girl, Brooke, who is near Xavier's age and a little boy who is older than Violet. She goes all shy and just wants to watch t.v. and suck her passifier. She's tired and that usually prevents her from eating.

Let me describe my fav dishes: mac and chesse--a la Emeril, Rain's stuffing (OMG), and her sweet potato and marshmallow dish. Soooo good. Let's not forget the deserts. She baked four different desert breads--one with a thick delicious cream cheese icing.

I brought some fruit snacks for V and after eating I think she felt better. But she didn't want to play. I like it that Rain and Ryan go with her natural flow.

We had so much fun with Rain and Ry's friends. They are natural, intellligent and don't mind making jokes. Although Luke and I didn't know them before, we felt that we did after the party. What amazing, sweet parents. They know how to have fun with their kids. Brooke did a magic show for us, with her dad's help. And Xander sang songs to the new kareoke application on WII.

At one point, Brooke and Xavier were playing near the fireplace. They were both so tired. Brooke put her little head against Xavier and it was like this sweet moment of trust and love.

After the family left, Rain and Ry and Luke and I sat around the livingroom with Rocky and had fun talking and joking around. Rocky is a very, very cute dog. He has these big expressive eyes and he knows how to communicate with them. He usually gets at least a part of what he wants (in this case, turkey)

We laughed and talked until 11:00 pm. Yes, Luke was in pain. And yes we had a hard night but it was all worth it.

11/25/09 DrK, NMarket, Dinner w Em And Bobby

I got up early to leave the house at 10 and be at Dr K by 10:30. Laugh if you want but I stay up late and getting my act together by 10 means that I don't do my prayers or my exercises. Still, a few months ago the impskies would have convinced me that I couldn't be showered and ready under any circumstances. I get up now. I don't day dream. And I take my vitamins and go into the shower. I might look at the birds at the bird feeder for a few minutes.

I forgot to tell you about Sita (squirrel) and the kitty. (yesterdays news) Sita is skiddish and shy. She tends to freeze. Her body will be stretched out on a tree head down and she freezes like a squirrel rug. Yesterday, she was in her half way pose but she was scolding and scolding. At the foot of the tree was a young grey and white cat. Her white tipped tail was waving back and forth like a warrior. If the Sita were to come down and challenge the warrior catlet, neither would know what to do with the other. They would have run in opposite direction. So funny to watch . Sita would run half way around the tree and kitty would run to the opposite side. And then back again. Like a dance.

Today there were three squirrels eating bird seed at the bottom of the feeder.

NM was quiet. I helped a few people. Most were either getting ready for Thanksgiving or Chirstmas shopping. I prayed that more people would come in and spend $$$$. The traffic did pick up. Then I got tired. Totally exhausted. Luckily it was time for me to go home.

I sat on the sofa and rested. Suddenly the phone began to ring. Em invited us to dinner with her and Bobby--at their fav restaurant Amber Indian. In lieu of our having Thanksgiving dinner together. I would probably have said that I was too tired, but we're spending Thanksgiving in B town with the littles, so . . . . We're lucky that our kids want to spend time with us. Very.

O.K. I said the phone began to ring. I meant the phones. My land line and my cell. Chris our Schwan's guy, Em, Rain . . . . and so on. . . all at once. I had to call people back. It's weird when that happens. I thought Chirs was very young--maybe 20. He's not and this is what happened to him because he was mistreated during a buy out--working with Schwans. The company that took over from the company he worked for . . . . He had to leave. Now he has to support a family with older kids on his Schwan's salary. It's hard. So I always try to buy from him. If we don't need any food, I buy for the kids.

I was so very tired on the way to Amber Indian. I prayed that God would protect me and give me strength. It was raining and chilly. I used my red umbrella. Inside I got hot Indian tea right away. Sometimes that will keep me awake. OK I'm strange. If Em gets the tea, I get it too and it doesn't keep me awake. (copy catism) Actually, two cups will keep me awake. Usually I can get by with one and it's soooo yummmy. I got tandoree shimp. It was perfectly spiced and perfectly cooked.

Em was telling us funny work stories. Peyton Place. But sooo funny. We just laughed and listened to Elvis. And laughed some more. It's great to eat with Em and Bobby because they are so funny.

"Every time I trust my gut it comes out better." Kevin, Top Chef. I like that quote.

11/24/09 I do it. Hatha Class rocks

Okay. I did it. After going back and forth for years, I decide to join Costco. I wasn't sure that I'd actually save money. But after seeing the Christmas present possibilities--I knew that I would save before the season was over.

MKate came to pick me up. She wanted to share the big moment. She's been a member of Costco for some time. She's been picking up Luke's snack treats (that you can only get at Costco) and now I can do it myself. She was excited about that.

As we were waiting for me to sign up, who should I see? My dentist, Dr Hanson--the funniest dentist ever. You're glad to go to his office, even if you're not glad to have the work done. Now the strange thing was that I had just gotten my post card reminding me to shedule an appointment for my cleaning.

I found a great DVD for Xavier for Chirstmas. He loves Scooby Doo and this is a new one that he doesn't have. Salad materials for Rain and Ry's Thanksgiving party. And some sparkling water for my diet. Costco is fun but dangerous. They are always giving out lots and lots of fattening snacks. I'm glad that I didn't eat lunch. The cheese cake snacks were so delicious that I couldn't bring myself to buy any of the cakes and have them in the house --even as a gift for someone else.

At the end of the shopping trip, I was pretty tired. I went home to rest before class.

I had a new student who was excellent. A great part of the class. Too bad that she is only visiting her parents.

The class was sweet and peaceful. I felt the shakti and I love that. The best thing about being a yoga teacher is my own experience of peace in each class.

11/23/09 Med Class, Conversation, 1/2 price books

How is my battle going with the impskies? Well, eating wise they have won a few. But I'm not back to the big eat and I probably never will be. Some of my choices have not been the best--too much sugar. You know. For Sunday breakfast I had a pancake with my egg and bacon meal. I shared the bacon with Xavier, and I gave a piece of the pancake to Violet. So . I didn't eat my whole breakfast but I did have the breakfast I like best. I skipped lunch.

However, my control of time is getting better and better. With the new control of time, has come a lifting of the tamsic fog that used to slow me down. Even though I am still not back energy wise . . . I am awake. Hum . . It's like the title of my old gyn's book, "Awake, Aware and Participating." That's how I feel.

I was very tired during the meditation class. I slid into meditation myself and felt very, very peaceful. I read a quote by Camus where he says that in the winter of life we all have an eternal summer with in-- that is what all the great saints of all the great traditions say --the eternal light lives within.

Then Luke and I took our conversation ride. We talked about his work shedule and how he needs to shedule himself with respect so that he doesn't get so completely exhausted. We're also talking about the sabbatical. It will be a first for Luke, time wise. More on this later.

We spent a little time in the 1/2 price bookstore. Luke got me a wonderful book on Hindu Temples and I got some treasures of my own.

11/22/09 La Peep w kids, NMarket, Din w Em & Bobby

The kids are here with the littles. It's nice to have them spend the night. Today for the first time, I show Xavier some yoga postures. I hope to give him the strength of a mountain. Afterwards he draws an amazing mountain for me and a strong tree. But wait. He draws an eruption in red. One person is dead. Another realizes that he will someday die. Xavier is not scared. He is having a yogic realization. We spend time talking.

Violet comes in to the bedroom where I practice yoga. She wants to climb onto our bed. She's small but determined. She works and works and finally makes it. She says, "Whew, I did it." So like something my mom would say. V has that spirit of determination under odds. Yes. I helped her down.

We had breakfast at La Peep. They are nice to families with little ones. We got an end table where V could walk around and play. She's not a big eater. I sit beside X and we talk quietly. I have a breakfast that I like--eggs, pancakes, and bacon. I won't do it often, but I did enjoy this breakfast today.

I got to NM and it was quiet. Very soon, people started coming in and YES spending money.

I met some new customers. I feel that they will be back. It's always great to work with Matt. Matt is a hard worker and he's willing to serve customers. I like that.

Also, Matt has an ear for comedy and some of our customers are very funny. One woman called Matt and asked if the red Henna had more red in it than the brown Henna. What?

We had dinner with Bobby and Em. We ate at Ocean World. Bobby must know everyone in Indy--especially those who eat at Ocean World. We always laugh when we eat with the kids. We found out that Bobby has back pain. He came over after dinner and we shared some back pain stuff with him.

11/21/09 Family , Plum's Upstairs, and other fun

I got up in time to shower, do a few prayers and get ready to leave. Rain, Violet and I left the house at 10:30 to meet Em in Zionsville for lunch at Plum's Upstairs.

For the most part, Violet acted like a little lady. We were able to have adult conversation and enjoy your food. This is the first time that their food was tops--the french pressed coffee was too weak and not hot and thier signiture tomato soup was also not hot enough. I think that if it happened again, I would say something, but the magic of Plums was still there. The cheese plate was fattening but delicious. They had a spicey cream cheese tucked into a small lettuce leaf, Irish cheese, and a soft, sweet cheese that was Em's favorite, mixed on a long plate with nuts, grains, and dried cranberry bits--also a tiny loaf of crusty French bread, and sweet toast bits.

We went to Leslie Jane's . The cloths were very young. I didn't see anything I liked and neither did Rain. Violet enjoyed herself but I could tell that she was getting tired. I probably won't go there again unless I manage to drop a few dress sizes.

Em went on to her appointment. Rain and I stopped by the art mall and I picked up the black and white painting that I liked. I don't think that this shop does a brisk business, so they are happy about every sale. I know the artist will be happy.

At home, Rain and Ryan had plans to meet an old friend at the Broad Ripple park. Xavier didn't want to go, but they took V. He and I played various games on the computer and had quiet fun.

By the time Rain, Ryan and Veronica came home, the kids were tired. Rain and Ryan wanted to go to the half price book store. The kids stayed home with gramma and watched Max and Ruby adventures. Max and Ruby are top favorite children's characters with me as well as the kids. At a certain point, Violet was tired and hungry. I cut up a pear for her and called her parents.

As soon as they got home we headed for Puccini's. I was very, very tired. The kids were tired. V was a little fussy, and she didn't eat much, but I did manage to get some pizza into her and a few swallows of milk. We took home 4 take out containers.

Luke was wasted by this week's shedule. He knows he needs to plan better. We're both working on better time decisions.

I'm too tired. When I feel chilled, I know I have to get into bed early and I will.

11/19/09 Locks rekeyed, Tire repaired, Nordstroms

The locksmiths were on time. You know, I had to decide. If you don't want to waste mental energy and cause yourself needless stress, you make a decision and move on. I don't know if Ricky is dangerous? I don't know why a man with his ability keeps messing up. Time after time. But I know that I had enough doubt to be uncomfortable in my home while he had a key to my front door. And he wouldn't give it back. They came and fixed our front door which has never been right, and rekeyed all the locks. Whew.

While they were here, I put out peanuts for the squirrels. It was raining so I threw them onto the deck right in front of our back door. Those squirrels went nuts. I mean it. It was as though I had soaked the nuts in gin or vodka. Earl went so crazy that he tried to climb up the outer wall of the house--more than once. You could hear his little paws crambling against the wood. I don't know where he thought he was going. The other two Sita and a new comer, sat on the back of the lawn chairs looking right at me through the window. I'm going to think twice about giving them those peanuts again.

I went to Firestone to see about the tire. And I'm so glad that I did. It seems that this "thing" in the tire (that lets you fill it with air) was damaged. It could have caused a bad accident. I'm blessed that I was able to pull over so fast and have the tire seen to. I'm also blessed that I didn't believe AAA that all was now well in the tire department and that I had Firestone do a deeper check on the problem. It didn't make sense to me that the tire suddenly, for no reason, developed a slow leak. So Firestone fixed the core problem and I should be good to go now.

I went home to rest. MKate and I were venturing down town to Nordstroms where I expected to see a line of Think shoes. I was tired. And you know, I had to really need those shoes to haul a . . . . downtown to look for them. When I got to the once fabulous Nordstrom's shoe dept, I could see that the recession had done this great store a lot of harm. They had a line of very young shoes--5 inch heels. Even models sometimes have trouble walking in them.

When I asked for help, the salesman was unenthusiastic. He looked in the back and found one pair of Thinks that I didn't like. After that he wasn't interested in helping me. I got pissy. We looked at a few more items--jewelry and scarves and hair items but we weren't happy shoppers anymore. MKate couldn't find shoes either. I was sorry that I lost it, even a little. I think I was very tired and that my blood sugar was down from not eating lunch.

I apologized to God and He forgave me. I hope that I don't do that again. More compassion, less ego.

11/18/09 Dr K, NMarket,

Rain and squirrels. Lots of birds. I have no time to eat breakfast. But I do have a few minutes to make coffee and watch the birds. Sita (squirrel) was eating seeds under the bird feeder. A big blue jay was eating and singing. He was excited to see food--easy to find and eat. What a pretty animal. (Is a bird an animal?)

I'm a little concerned about my tire. It's fine but I won't be making any long trips without having Firestone checks my tires. Also, I'd love to have Nissen check out the whole deal. Something is wrong when your car moos at you--even though it's intermittant.

Dr K adjusts me. I'm not working on changing my body, just keeping things balanced. When I'm stronger, I'll go back to the changing. I was worried that Dr Mike wouldn't like the present I brought for him. He did like it!!! He's been so nice to me, working with me free, and believing in me. I could have stayed and worked with him this morning but . . . . I was very tired and needed to pick up Boston Chicken and go home.

My first job for NM was banking. While I drove I thought about ideas for Christmas songs. I have this thought about Christmas angels. Wanting to be someone's Christmas angel. To serve God and to bring happiness into someone else's life.

NM was quiet. Greg told me that a better job has come up for him. I'm very happy for Greg but feel very sad for our store and for MKate and Jeff. Greg is quality in every way. How to replace him? God will have to help.

Maybe my mom in heaven will send blessings.

I talked to a customer that I've known for a long time. He started talking about his early life. His mom left the family right when his dad had a serious accident with both his feet. He was depressed and miserable for most of his life. I had asked him what his defining religious moment was. (a la St Philip) He said that he used to visit a prof and his wife. Very educated. Very inspiring. One day a young woman came to visit the couple. She invited him to her church. He was this hippy with long hair and the "look." The church members welcomed him. Invited him to their houses for food. He liked the feeling. Loving and accepting. One day, he went up to the alter and . . . . the love of God poured into his heart. And at that moment his depression and sleeplessness left. For good. And he dedicated his life to Chirst.

He's got a gentle way about him. He always asks how you are. He seems to care, and I quess he does.

At home I worked on my painting. It's coming along.

Also, my favorite model won American's next top model. I believe that all the top girls will have success. Nicole was my favorite. She was a nerd at school, with noone to eat lunch with. Through the process of the competition Nicole grew in stature and confidence and I was happy for her when she won.

11/17/09 Rain & squirrels, Car mishap and Hatha Yoga

I woke up to a dark and rainy sky. The world outside my window is always full of life and the changes in the seasons. Most of the leaves are fallen. Only a few stray gold brush strokes remain. I had a wonderful experience with the squirrels. Sita was outside eating the left over seeds. Suddenly, while I was doing my Hatha Yoga , I looked up and Sita (the squirrel--Earl's girl friend) was balanced on the end of a fragile branch --on the tree that Carl saved. She was looking right at me. I do my practice to a chant and she was listening as well. She must be a spiritual soul spending time in an animal body. She watched for some time. It was a wonderful sight.

The rain was coming down hard. Rain is beautiful. It makes me happy to see dark skies and rain pouring down.

I am heading for the bank when I hear a sound which I think is coming from the back of my car. It sounds like stones rattling around. It got louder and I thought ----ooops. Then I started to lose control of the wheel. I got off the road as soon as possible and called AAA. Also, MKate who always has my back. I'm not the kind of person who wants tons of friends, but the ones I have are great and amazing. I know that I'll always be there for MKate--whatever she might need and I know it's visa versa. She said she come for me if need be. I know she needed a little rest, but still she was willing.

I told the phone lady from AAA that I was still recovering from HiNi and that I hoped that the repair guy would come sooner rather than later. And he did. I was worried that there was a serious problem with the car. It was only a tire problem. But still, I'll have to talk it over with Firestone. The tire came loose from the rim (or something). If I had driven any longer, the tire would have gone flat and I would have lost control. So thank you God that it was no big deal. However, the AAA guy could not tell me why this came about. As long as Ricky has my house key, I'm going to be concerned. So I came right home and called a lock smith. That will end that worry. Then, I'll get "the " letter to Ricky together and mail it to Dan. Well, people it was strange.

Carl worked in the rain all day. He came in to collect his hard earned check and to talk about his spiritual path and mine. He is so smart. So amazingly smart. I'm just in awe and so is MKate.

Hatha Yoga was lyric. Not as rich spiritually as the meditation class but sweet and beautiful like a river on a summer day. I can still feel the peace. Oh Lord, thank you that yoga is in my life, blessing me and my dear ones.

11/16/09 Meditation Class Rocks, Em and I shop

This morning I woke up meditating on what it would be like to experience the ecstacy of the Divine. Last night I read an article on Saint Philip Neri, the Joyful, Apostle of Rome. I love to hear about people's defining experiences of the presence of God. Here is Philip's " One of his favorite retreats was the catacombs of Saint sebastian, where he would stay for hours in silent contemplation. It was during a visit to the catacombs that the central spiritual experience of his life occurred. As he sat praying to the HOly Spirit, he saw a globe of fire coming swiftly toward him from above. IT entered him through his mouth and on reaching his heart, began expanding, filling his whole being with flames of divine bliss, setting him on fire with love for God and all people. Thereafter, whenever he prayed, the heat of that inner fire remained with him; his heart actually enlarged, and the heartbeat intensified: it is said that it literally shook the furniture in his room with its vibrations. At times he would be so overwhelmed with bliss that he would cry out, Non ki piu, Dio Mio, "No more, my God! I am only a mortal man."

The effects of his experience were more than symbolic. When he pressed the anxious heads of troubled, tormented people to his heart, they would be filled with peace.

I love this reading. It reminds me that we all have this possibility within us. And I believe that we have all had our own experiences of the profound joy of God. Only we tend to give credit to mundane occurances: falling in love, eating great ice cream, having a fewa drinks and so on. My teachers have all said that what these experiences do is to silence our minds so that who we really are comes to the fore.

Meditation class came from a place far beyond my consciuos mind. The divine was in the room with us. I cried. MKate cried. Every one experienced that deep state when you come into contact with the Truth. Wow. I am so lucky and so blessed.

Then I went home to rest. Carl was working on the trees, repeating his mantras. I could feel the holiness.

Mkate and I went shopping. We went to Costco. I have been thinking of becoming a member. The fee is $50.00, so I'd have to know I'd get my $$$$ worth. I was particularly interested in the vacs. We gave our good vac to Rain and Ryan, now that we have new carpeting . . . we need a vac. MKate has the all amazing Dison with roller ball--the elite of vacs. I have the money on my little Monavie card (from when I did the business), but is that how I want to spend it? I feel like I could get a Hoover for $150. and save the rest for Christmas. Dison's are upwards of $550. Yes, good vacs, elite vacs are expensive.

I tasted primo cheese cake (Costco always gives out samples). I bought great asparagus (almost reason enough to join), but I don't know? Would I really go more than a few times a year. Would I really save?

I'm undecided about Costco, leaning toward not joining. And I'm undecided about the vac, leaning toward the Hoover or another less expensive machine. But in my minds eye, I see myself vacuuming away with my glam Dison. So what will I do? And what does this have to do with an ecstatic experience of God? Well, I believe that it does.

All the great saints have said, offer all you do to God. Be glad. Be ecstatic , be grateful. In ALL you do.

I got tired and we had to go home after Costco. MKate came over for a slice of Bobby's pizza. She loved it. Then she had a slice of Em's bday cake. She loved that also. We wanted to give her the other half of the magic cake because Jeff (her wonderful husband) deserves great cake and the rest of her precious family does as well. Really, MKate's family is sooo sweet. And she loves my family as well.

11/15/09 La Peep, NM and Em's family party

Tim came to install the new carpet in the meditation room. I love the way the carpet looked in Tim's truck but I didn't get the chance to see the carpet put down. Dr Logan didn't want me to be in the house when the carpet was pulled and the new installed.

Luke and I decided to eat breakfast out. We usually don't do that. We ate at La Peep. I like several dishes that they make. I had a diet breakfast with extra food to take to NM for lunch. Scrambled eggs with potatoes and turkey sausage and lots of coffee. The coffee had so much flavor. Luke and I were both impressed. I took half the sausage to work on wheat toast (no butter)

The scene inside NM is changing. I think that Matt and I were inspired last week and things that everyone knew should be done were done to change the decor inside the store. Bapuji's grace is moving through the store like the wind. More customers came in and spent

$$$. So exciting.

I was exhausted at the end of the day. Exhausted. I can't even tell you-- cold and shaky. I knew I had to rest every second that I could before heading for Em's family party.

I had 45 min to rest. Then we packed the car and left. We were bringing the cake which is like the jewel of the party meal. It looked so beautiful. I loved how the flowers covered the whole top of the cake and I thought that the Ace of Cakes would be proud.

Bobby made his amazing pizzas. One was a copy of "Big Red, " from Pucinis. Half had just a little jam on it. Sooooo delicious. He also made my fav with mushrooms and fake meat. I can't imagine a better tasting pizza with the only problem being that I want to eat more than I should.

No, I didn't. I'm listening to the Angelites more. People notice that I look thinner. That inspires me.

Jennifer had good news. Out of 22 kids on her dance team, only 6 were chosen for the elite group and she was one of those six. What a kid. She didn't have dance as a young girl. She had to work so hard to come up to speed.

Nicole and William came a little late. It was great to see both of them after so many months.

We had great conversations but .. . I'm too tired to write anymore. I'm cold and shivering so I'm praying that I feel better tomorrow.

11/14/09 Em loves bday dinner, birds, movie night

Called Em. Just wanted to know what she thought about her bday party. She loved it. Well, what's not to love at Villagios and the company was great. Luke and I shared our fav memories of Em as a baby and little girl; Bobby shared his fav memories of Em when they first met. It was fun and the food was amazing. I skipped lunch so I could have a pasta in cream sauce dish. I got one with juicy shrimp and scallops. Good scallops are one of my fav foods ever.

But I was happy to hear her say that she loved it.

I went to a new location in Carmel to pick up the cake I ordered for Em's family bday on Sunday.

Directions are not easy for me. I get nervous when I'm going somewhere that I haven't been before. I followed the simple directions that Luke got for me and voila . . . . I found Classic Cakes. I was thinking of getting a cookie while I was there. As I drove up, someone was leaving in their dark red car. I pulled right in. Thanks angels and I pledged not to eat a cookie. Surprizingly, Classic Cakes doesn't make cookies or any other sweets. They specialize in cakes. I held my breath as they brought out Em's cake. It was . . . . better than Taylors. Much more creative and prettier with more roses.

The woman who helped me out with the big box asked me how old our Princess was (I had them write--Happy Birthday to our Princess--on the cake). I said 21. Well, why not. She looks 21. Then the woman shared about her family. Her daughter is getting married very soon. She told me that they are planning to have over 300 people. That's a lotta cake. Then she wanted to tell me about her up coming operation. I know that she was really sharing that part with Bapuji.

By the time I got home, I was tired and needed to rest. Soon Linda came by to help set up our heated bird bath. It was fun. She nestled the bath near our cactus plant between some decorative rocks. And we put out peanuts (in shell) for the squirrels.

Carl was there working on the trees. I quess he doesn't like (like) Linda. I thought they'd have a lot in common but . . . not. Oh well.

Movie night. We decided to see, "An Education, " which got 3 1/2 stars. We had dinner at Chipotle, and went on to the movie just in time to get decent seats. MKate, Luke and I all loved the movie and will be thinking about the message for sometime to come. MKate and I had decaf coffee. I fixed the popcorn with sweet surprises. Yummmy.

This is a period movie about a young girl's search for meaning in a world that undervalued women. Just before taking her college exams, she meets an older man who charms her and charms her parents as well. He shows her an easy way into a glam adult life. He takes her to concerts, bars, on week-end trips and finally to Paris. Only . . . at the end, he turns out to be married, and the girl almost loses her chance to go to college. She says . . . I wanted to do things the easy way. . . . it doesn't work that way. I'm thinking about that message.

11/11/09 Dr K, Marsh makes me cry, NM

Luke and I go to Dr K. After he works on me, I walk for at least 5 minutes withoug discomfort.

Very, very cool and very promising for the future. Driving home, Luke and I have a last discussion about the "Ricky (bad handiman) " situation. We are on the same page and when I can I will finish the "letter " to Ricky that will let him know what we expect. I'll be happy when this lesson is over and I hope that I learn what my part in it was.

At home, we eat lunch and go our separate ways. Luke goes to work, and I hurry to Marsh to see if I can select a birthday cake for Em. I only have 45 minutes before I need to be at work. I scoot into Marsh to check out the possible cakes. I like to give really amazing cakes and I am really disappointed. When I think about bringing one of the cakes I'm looking at to Em's family party on Sunday, I get sad and think about crying ( baby). But I can't order one of these cakes that look like I could do better. I remember the cakes that I used to make for the kids when they were little. Castle cakes and various fun bunnies and other animals.

I remember that there is a catering co off Michigan and I head for that establishment which I have never been to before. I am almost ready to give up when I see it to my right. It's took late to turn right and I have to do a U turn. I can't say that I did it safely and someone honked me. I apologized to God and thank, thanked Him for sparing me. I finally got to this little catering store, and quess what--it's right near the Wild Birds Store. But, they don't have any samples to look at AND they don't use butter cream which is what Em especially wanted.

I ask for a suggestion and they give me the name of a place in Carmel, near Dr L's office and near my fav Taylors. I order by phone. I wish I could see the cake first, but don't think that will be possible. So, I'm going to trust them.

At NM, I am working with books. I LOVE books and I love to see the new ones. I was interested in a book about healing the body through food. I have to check that out when I have time.

Linda comes to work as I am leaving. She tells me that she will help me set up the heated bird bath and the squirrel feeder. I'm happy about that. She also tells me that it's best to feed squirrels a little bit at a time--I quess the food could get soggy if you don't.

Those little guys are so adorable at this time of year. Eating and saving and running up and down the trees. I love to see Earl when he stands on his back feet and lifts his little paws up to munch something yummy.

I didn't think I'd like the flower guy on t.v. But he's an artist and can transform a room with flowers. So beautiful. So amazing.

11/10/09 Loose ends, Hatha Class

I got all my exercises done--plus. So exciting. I am getting stronger. All part of my plan to walk without western medical intervention.

I had breakfast and began to work my way through my chore list. Inbetween I watched the birds and squirrels cavorting around the new bird feeder. Earl, the squirrel, our original beautiful --I think male with his amazing red tail, now has a girl friend. She's much shier than he is. She hears a sound and she jumps and runs up a tree. Although I think she's more secure. I think I'll call her Sita. She probably has a name for herself that I couldn't pronounce. They play together and have fun. I wonder if we'll see little squirrels one day. That would be soooo cute.

I am having the carpet cleaned. I'm hoping that I won't be allergic to the clean carpet. The woman who came to give me a free estimate was cool. We got to talking about life and miracles right away. He dad was dying. The family took him to the Cleveland Clinic which is right near her brother-in-laws church. The parisioners came in groups and prayed for him and he recovered and survived.

She told me that he was rocking his first church, but the elders were threatened and asked him to leave. His mentor said, "Leave. You'll find your destiny and the place where the Lord wants you to be." And he did. He started his own church and it has grown and grown.

"It's amazing what can happen when you push yourself just a little bit further. " Kelley "Dancing with the Stars."

It's how the Pastor started and grew his amazing church. It's how Kelley went from being a bad, insecure dancer to one of the final four. I'm inspired. The pastor didn't make any excuses and he didn't look back at the Elders who kicked him out of his first Church--he moved into his future and created a miracle for himself and others.

My old student Tracy came to Hatha with her mom, Jancie. They used to take my Zionsville class. I loved that space. When the class began, it was dark and the silvery moonlight shone in through a pretty high window. It gave the whole class a feeling of India and of peace--deep, deep peace.

At the end of class, Tracy went into a deep meditation and had trouble coming out. It was a good feeling.

11/8/09 Nature's M, Dinner with Em and Bobby

Luke and I woke up at the same time--9:00 am. I'm thrilled that Luke is able to sleep when he needs to. Once he brought me my vits and tea, I got up with energy, took my shower and got ready for the day. I did all my exercises. I'm adding exercises, which is great.

I got downstairs in time to make breakfast and to rest before work.

I'm always happy to see Matt at work. Matt feels like part of my spiritual family. We share secrets and trust each other.

The weather was amazing. Luke says that we have this one more extra warm day. So between the big fall sale and the great weather--we didn't have many clients. We started looking around; I've been doing that lately. The energy seems tight--not what it could be. I've already mentioned to MKate that I think inner spaces should be changed and that those changes would draw more people to the store. It's such a great place. More people should know about it.

We called MKate. She gave us permission to make a few changes. As soon as we cleared the spaces in front of the street side window, people started coming in and buying things. We had a few good sales. We're looking forward to transformation.

I got very tired at 5:00 and wasn't up to helping with the close. I went home, made some echinacea tea (my throat was sore) and sat down. I'm thrilled to be working 4 hours without falling down.

We went to Em and Bobby's for dinner. Bobby made his chili dishes:both vegetarian (Em is a veggie) --one with and one without beans. The kids wanted pizza. I gave Jen her gift. She's made such a huge transformation. Going from a kid who wasn't making it in school, to a kid who has her act together. She looked at me and said, "I know who loves me." It gave me a warm feeling inside.

Ron was there. I love to hear about his dating adventures.

11/7/09 Zville fun, Amazing Cameron Carpenter

This was the best day--even though I didn't sleep well last night and wasn't as organized as I have been lately. I woke up tired. Instead of pushing myself, I made washing my hair (I told you it's like a pet and washing it is not fast) the focus of my morning. Then I went down for a fast breakfast.

I was hoping to chat with Dave about the recessed lighting he's putting in my bathroom, but he wasn't on time. MKate came to pick me up for a day of fun, so I left a check for Dave. I totally trust him.

First we went to Zionsville, which is a beautiful, European type village. The main streets are cobble stone and are lined with sweet, interesting shops. It was a heavenly day. One of those late fall days that combines the warmth of the sun with a fine, chill that reminds us that it isn't spring--and that we're getting a divine gift of ideal, no sweater weather.

MKate parked her fab new minivan in front of a place that we haven't been to before, a small art mall. They were having an opening and served some nice nuts and cheese. Also wine. We enjoyed looking at the jewelry but didn't see anything we wanted to buy. I thought I might find something for Em's birthday, but no. The art was pleasant without being great. Then I went back to an area reserved for the featured artist--in this case a retired art teacher. She has traveled widely and many of her painting reflect that travel. Some of her work appealed to me and I thought that Luke would like it too. I brought a print that had a fairy tale quality about it. I took a photo of a black and white that she did of a state park. She captured a magical quality of light and shadow. It would look great next to my old English fairy print. I hope that Luke likes it.

Then we went to Plums Upstairs. We just love the food and the atmosphere at Plums. We sat at the two top right up against the window. The window was open and the gorgeous fresh fall air mixed with sunshine poured in to bless us. We had our fav soup, the specialty of the house-French Tomato--just perfect. Delicious with rice and a blend of spices that made me want to close my eyes and pretend that I was in France at a street side cafe. Yummm. Also delicous French Pressed coffee and we shared a little cheese and spice dish. (ok MKate, I can't spell it)

As we enjoyed our lunch, we looked down on the cobble stone street washed in sunlight and peopled with men, women, kids, babies, dogs --all smiling in the sunshine of a perfect day. The street doesn't look American. MKate says that it reminds her of Germany and I think it looks like pictures that I've seen of France. Like being on a mini vacation.

Then we went to the Wild Birds shop. I got a heated bird bath for the winter. Linda tells me that all the animals will drink and enjoy it. Also peanuts in their shells for the squirrels.

All this and that's not counting the concert we just got home from. Cameron Carpenter rocked the house. This man is an electrifying performer.

11/6/09 Lighting, Scat, and Nature's Market

Again . . . I wake up listening to the Angelites. So, I got right up and went right into the shower. I was on my Hatha Yoga. I brought it and did some poses that I haven't been able to do in some time. That was a great energizing feeling.

I was down for breakfast early, lucky me. As soon as I put up my coffee, Dave from Greenfield Lighting called. He said he was coming in 15 min. Dave is not an on time person--he's creative. So I had plenty of time for breakfast. He installed a dimmer on the super bright bedroom light

(Luke works in the bedroom. It's like his den. He needs the extra light to see his music.) Now we can have it light or bedroom soft.

While Dave was here, I asked him if he could up date my bathroom lights which are those drop balls from the 70's. They don't give enough light and they're gold. Dave is putting in recessed lighting. I'll have enough light and it will look neat and modern.

Dave is very, very busy. He is out of town, working on amazing projects, more than he is in town. His company brings him home for big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Luke and I lucked out because we got to Dave while he was in town. Is he worth waiting for-yes.

Daniel is our Scat guy. Since his company has been spraying for us --4x a year--I don't worry about pests of any kind. Also, Daniel is a neat person. We have great conversations about life, and kids and religion.

When the guys were gone, I made my lunch and got ready for N.M. (Nature's Market).

The day was simply beautiful. The air was slightly chilled with the warm sun of fall. I love that contradition of the cool and the cozy. I kept the window open when I did N.M's banking(at the drive thru ), so I can breath the clear, clean air of fall and try to hold on to nice weather as long as possible.

My new shedule is so much better for me. I get to N.M. at 2:00 pm, and I'm home by 5:30 or

6:00. I can fix dinner for Luke, and we can have fun couple's time. We like to watch Jeopardy together.

Okay. So the Angelites are winning more and more in my daily life. But, I am still struggling with old patterns in terms of my eating habits.

The difference between now and all the rest of my life is that I'm seeing the patterns--clearly. Sometimes, a person can talk about the truth but they really don't experience it. They don't get it on the inside. Now, I'm getting it that I eat when I'm very tired, or very stressed. I used to say those words; now, I get them inside. I've named the negative "fat" (tamasic) voices "Impskies"--like little imps that whisper negative thoughts and deeds to you.

I was tired at the end of the workday at NM. The impskies said, "Eat something, you'll have more energy." Then they began to work on what I should eat--chips, sweets . . . . I fought back.

11/5/09 Bloomington, grandkids and bookstores

Progress report. Eating and weight loss: Impkies are winning. Use of time: Angelites are winning and they tell me that if I keep on and keep on changing the way I think that eventually my new thinking will result in natural and permanent weight loss. I know this to be true.

This morning I woke up and got right out of bed. I got into the shower, got ready for the day. All my Hatha Yoga got done. Yay. We had to leave at exactly 11:30 pm for Luke to teach a lesson and do his show case for the students. I went downstairs with a smile to fix breakfast and get my things ready for the whole day. Everything got done. The angelites were smiling and glowing and cheering me on.

We had a lovely trip to B town. I knew we'd have to make a decision about Thanksgiving. I was leaning toward going to B town. Emily and Brian are going to have tons of people. I think that adding Luke and I, Rain and Ry and the kids plus Ry's family--would be too much. But we'll see.

On the way to B town, Luke and I talk about changing churches. I haven't been happy at St Luke's for a while. I wasn't sure why. It's a great church. Again, they do so much great work in the world. I admire Pastor M so much. I just think that we are going into another direction spiritually. We're decided that we're going to church shop for a year or so--until we find what we're looking for. I'm not saying that we won't settle into one church if we find that special place . . . . . I just feel that it's going to take time.

We get to B town in time to pick up Xavier We're arriving a bit later than usual because of Convocation--Luke's student show case class. It's better when we're late because there isn't so much traffic. That traffic kind of freaks me out with all those kids and all those cars.

Luke got a hot dog for X and some low fat ice cream for he and I to share. Then we went to the bookstore to play for awhile. I got a great book on crock pot cooking which I plan to do more of this winter. Also I found two fun mysteries that I'll enjoy reading. You know, I have gotten so many books from 1/2 price bookstore that I haven't liked and don't even want to read beyond the first few pages. Such messy self indulgent writing. Ikk. So, I'm glad that I paid full price for the two paper backs that I'm going to read and love.

We got two books for Xavier and two for Violet--Max and Ruby was one for Violet and the brother and sister bunny are my fav as well.

We came together as a family in B town's Puccini's. Violet came in tired and half asleep on Rain's shoulder. When I showed her the Max and Ruby book, she came right over to sit on my lap and let me read to her. I gave her some kiddy fruit chews from the health store and she ate every one. We talked and laughed. Everyone seemed to have a good time, talking and eating

together.

The ride home was kind of hard. I still get tired. But I focused my mind and was able to drive home safely. I listened to a tape by one of P Yogananda's swamis. I really like the message of this tape. He talks about affirmations. New ways to use the mind and to think about the value of the mind. We are all part of the mind of God. Like waves in the ocean. Can you separate a wave from the ocean. So we are like that. We can create miracles.

11/04/09 Bionic Cat, Greenfield Lighting, THE FLOW

I got up and got going. I realize that the sluggish feeling that I usually have on awakening is tamasic, not filled with light and I know that I want to live filled with light. I got in the shower. This is the day I go to Dr K's with Luke and we need to be there early.

Greenfield lighting, Dave and his son, are coming today to put in a bright new light in our bedroom, and fix a wall socket in my bathroom. They have agreed to come at 12 pm so that I can get to work at 2pm.

The Bionic Cat (Steven, my computer teacher) is coming at 12:30 pm. Luke is afraid that we won't be home at 12 and that the lighting folks will leave. Luckily Dave gave me his celll phone and I knew I could call him if we were a little late (I also know that Dave is never on time).

When we got to Dr K's, we found out that Dr Mike (physical therapist) couldn't work with Luke. So . . . . we're in the flow. No doubt we can pick up our Boston Chicken and be on time for Greenfield Lighting (we love them) (even though we're pretty sure they won't be on time).

Dr K is glad that I'm feeling better. He's also glad that I'm moving on Church wise.

Luke and I feel all adjusted and relaxed. We have plenty of time for BChicken. I call Dave and he says that he and his son are about 45 min away. They'll be a little late. What did I tell you.

I get a small snack at home and get ready for the Cat. He does come on time, because I told him that I need to get to work at 2. Cat does not like to be on time. We get the art project under control. He sends the seed work to Darin (head of project) and I get the courage to read the directions. I have plenty of time to get all this done and more before the dead line. It's going to be so cool.

The Cat is one of the most fun people that I know. He rocks. He also shows me how to dele the people that I no longer want in my life as well as those I never wanted and who knows how they got on my contact list to begin with. I feel so free and empowered. SO FREE.

After the lesson we play with our Pet Society pets. He has a cute little creature named Steviestar, and I have a pink bear with black ears named Durga.

Finally, at close to 2, Dave and his son come. They move along and put in our new bedroom light. I love it. They have such great taste and do an amazing job. To Dave, the job isn't done until you are completely happy. No wonder he's always busy. Now . . . here's being in the flow at it's best. Luke and I have had all this stress related to our carpet .... I look at Dave's son and his eyes are red and dripping. He's also allergic to the carpet. But Dave knows what to do. When he had this problem, he called a good carpet cleaner and they lifted all the allergins out. Also, Dave's son said that if we don't want the carpet, he'll remove it free and keep it himself. That's the flow. All the carpet stress falls away along with dark visions of having to move to a motel for several days and going through the trauma of selecting and installing new carpet.

I get to work at 2:30. (I had called in and they were expecting that timing.)

I'm tired at the end of my work day and my throat hurts, but I'm delighted with the Divine flow in this day. And I am feeling better. Finally more normal as though my body is coming back from the viral wars.

Oh yes . . . this morning we saw a new squirrel at the foot of the bird feeder. She looks like a little girl and I'm calling her Sita. Sita is shy. Yesterday she barely got the courage up to approach the feeder. She kept running up a near by tree and looking scared. When she got to the feeder, every bite she took she looked up in fear, ready to run. Today, she was more relaxed. She chilled and just ate. Birds birds and more beautiful birds. What a great decision to begin feeding the birds --in style.

11/3/09 Salon 7000, Hatha Yoga

I am happy to say that I was amazingly organized today. I'm taking the dialogue between the impskies and the angelites seriously. I listen carefully for the negative voices that invite me to do the very things that mess me up and to not do the things that would lead to more positive conclusions--the outcomes that I want.

So I woke up and instead of playing with my puzzle book, I took my morning vitamins and got right into the shower. When I was clean and ready to repeat my mala(Indian rosary), instead of sitting back on my bed to do my practices, which gives me a lazy feeling, I sat at the edge of the bed. I concentrate better sitting straight and I feel I'm more concentrated on my spiritual readings as well. I don't zone out.

I wanted to end my practices with 1 1/2 hours left for chores and breakfast. I achieved all my goals, and got to my hair appointment on time.

I love Salon 7000. Everyone is sweet and friendly and fun to know. Gary is one of my fav people. Today I found out that he's a amatuer gardener. Eunice, my hair dresser, knows a lot about gardening, but she thinks that Gary knows more. My hair looks great. I like to wear it up --for now.

I was very, very tired after getting my hair done. I told you guys, my hair is like an animal. It's very hard to tame it. I sat down in Eunice's chair at 1 p.m. and left the salon after 4:30 p.m. Believe it.

I went home, had a peanut butter and coconut sandwich and rested. I mean I was shaking with exhaustion. I didn't know how I'd teach my Hatha class.

I had a new student, Kerry. She's a lawyer who does family law and teaches at a local college. Because I walk with a cane, I've lost a lot of students, so it's always nice to add to my class. Kerry enjoyed the class. She said that she'd be back.

I hope so. I think that the work I do will help her with angry couples and with her 2 teenage sons as well.

MKate tells me that her kitty, Dex, a beautiful orange tiger, is sick again. If you're reading this, please say a prayer for Dex. He is so sweet. I think he'll be o.k. but I know that the energy of prayer will help him. I believe that prayer also helps the prayer.

11/2/09 Meditation Class, Date with Luke

Outside our bedroom window: Earl the squirrel is happy and in his element eating what the birds drop from their new feeder. He is such a beautiful squirrel. His fuzzy, fluffy tail looks like our late angora cat, Shanti. The top of his tail is grey but underneath is red-blond. So gorgeous. And the birds are thrilled as well. We had three morning doves and three blue birds and lots and lots of little guys. One day Luke and I will know all their names. We're going to have fun this winter.

Another squirrel came to eat as well, but I don't think Earl invited him. The new squirrel stayed out of Earls way and only ate when Earl left.

We got to meditation class early. (for us) The minute that I walked into the room, I felt that Prem was there. I went into a deep and quiet space and I hardly remember anything that happened. I only know that I did a beautiful reading about a man who spent five years traveling the world and seeking his spiritual center. He has a moment after all his travels when he comes to his center--his peace. He does this in the company of a great Saint. After that who knows. I coughed but it didn't seem to matter, to me or to anyone else.

I told the story about the time that Baba was giving a program for a huge number of people in a tent in California. Noone told him that just down the street a tall building would be demolished during his program. When the big bang came, people jumped up and screamed and were totally upset. Baba just sat there in deep meditation. What a great way to live life--from the deep core within. So . . . if I cough . . . at least it's not a demolition, no one runs screaming.

The meditation was over so fast. I felt like about five minutes had passed by--really it was an hour.

Luke and I took a conversation ride. We're concerned about Thanksgiving. If Rain and her family can't come to Indy . . . where should we go. Emily has already invited the whole Indy family to her place. What to do?

Luke and I went to Target to pick up a few needed things. We had to cut our shopping trip short but it doesn't matter . . . We got the most important items.

11/1/09 NM , Dinner with Em, Bobby and co.

I couldn't sleep last night. Was it the black coffee that I drank at 4 p.m.? Luke and I are thinking about our Church family. Thoughts ran through my mind. MKate thinks that St L's is lame. Is it? Do I want to be in a more passionate prayer environment? Also we haven't made friends at St L's-and that means not one. Luke is thinking that we're not compatible with this community.

What to do? We've been going to St Luke's for so many years.

So I barely slept at all. Just what I didn't need.

I rested after breakfast. I was at work at 1 pm. I hoped that I could last until 4:30 when Jeff comes in. Matt is visiting his gramma/grandpa. Sharon worked with me. We worked well together. She gave me some hints on weight loss. And she helped me get by work wise.

I met two women who were interested in my yoga class, and both of them liked my new flyer. It's pretty with green water lily leaves. I'm learning how to use my poster/card maker in a more professional way. I have the feeling that at least one of the women will come to class. (hopefully both.)

When I was fall down tired, I went home. Jeff was there so it worked. I was able to rest before going to Em and Bobbys. The poor things were still jet lagging, but wanted to have family dinner anyway. They ordered from Puccinis.

The angelites won the morning and afternoon, but the impskies won at Em and Bobby's. I put a lot of salad dressing on my salad and had regular cheese which I ate with relish. The impskies told me that I was exhausted and deserved a good meal. Then I continued with a huge pile of pasta, luckily they didn't put much sauce on top--or the impskies would have encouraged me to eat that as well. To finish this meal of carbs and fats I felt compelled to eat some of Jennifer and Evan's halloween candy. The angelites were ashamed. Even though I could have eaten more, I stopped with three mini candy bars.