10/31/09 Em is back from Greece, Movie night

A parent wants to hear that happy sound in thier childs voice, even when the child is an adult. Em and Bobby had a great time on their trip to Greece and Turkey. The plane from Chicago back to Indy was so late that they didn't get home until 3 am. By the time they settled down it was after 4:30 am.

But they got home safe and sound and filled with amazing memories. We had lunch with Em and she shared some of her adventures with us. We could almost see the cities that she discribed. Luke has been to several so it was great for him to see them again through Em's eyes. We ate at a Greek restaurant. One of the women from the tour was born in Greece. She said that "Athens," the Greek restaurant down the block from our home is the best in Indy. I had a delicious lentil soup and humus with pita bread. So yummy.

O.K. I was doing so well on my diet. Just to remind myself and any readers, I read an article by Ethnath Eswaran, one of my favorite spiritual writers. He talked about the inner voices that encourage us to stay in usual bad habits OR to form new, more beneficial habits. I decided to call my negative, unhelpful voices--impskies and my good, helpful voices--devi-angels. On Thursday, the impskies said eat Pide's (little Turkish pizzas) when the Bloomington family goes out for Turkish. Don't bother with the low fat chicken dish. And while I was at it, I ate other yummy, bad for my diet, carbs. I continued on this downward trend on friday, and saturday. I'm not weighing myself. There wouldn't be anything to be proud of. I can only say that tomorrow; I hope to listen for the quiet voice of the devi-angels, and to eat accordingly.

MKate ate dinner at our place. We decided not to eat out. It was delicious and not to fattening. I love winter squash with coconut butter, and we had that with fish in cream sauce and home made apple sauce.

It was movie night. We rode to the theatre in MKates amazing new van. It has all kinds of magic inside and drives so smoothly. We felt like royalty.

We saw, "Where The Wild Things Are, " an adaptation for adults from the Maurice Sendak book of the same name. It was so amazing. A deep look at the feelings that people have that make them angry and destructive. And love wins in the end--among the wild things and among the people.

10/30/09 Nature's Market, New Shedule is great

My hatha yoga went so well, and for awhile I was walking . . . . much more easily. I have started silently repeating that every step is bringing me closer to perfect wellness.

My shedule at Nature's Market has changed. Instead of going to work in the late afternoon and getting home late, I am going in at 2 and leaving at 5. This has worked out better for the store as well. Linda needs to work later, so she comes in at 5:15 and I leave.

When I'm in the flow, things work out for the best. For a long time, Luke has wanted me to come home earlier on Friday. There have been so many events that we wanted to go to on Friday, and we couldn't . Now, we can. And now we can spend Friday nights together at home.

I worked for three hours. Two days ago, I was wasted after two hours. So , I'm improving. Thank God.

10/29/09 Beauty of Fall, B town and the kids

I love the "park" outside my window. From my bedroom window, I look out on trees turning golden, red, brown, and still green. I look down and there is the new bird feeder. I should fill it tomorrow. But still there's enough food to attract birds. I see my favs--woodpeckers and chickadees.

Downstairs more birds are at the feeders. I make my best breakfast--creal--a mix of grains with swiss chesse and coconut oil.

Luke and I pack the car and we're off to Butler. He'll teach a convo class and then we're off to Bloomington. Sometimes I like to sit in the car and enjoy the beauty of Butler campus. So many old trees all turning colors. The sun is bright and it's warm as a late spring day. From now on warm days are a special blessing. Some areas in the country are getting really cold now. Yay. It's warm here.

We have a good ride. Although we are talking about several serious subjects--among topics--the capet issue, the Ricky issue and these won't be solved until we talk to Dan and Mindy. We decide to let Ricky put in Luke's vanity. We agree that he' s not a great person and we don't want his energy in our house. But it would be too complex to get someone else to do it--he has the vanity in his possession. Also, he owes me $1.000 which I'd like to use for our new aquarium. We realize that we have to have the carpet pulled up. I'm very allergic to it. Then we agree we'd like to get new carpeting from --a non family member.

We stopped at Starbucks and I was able to get a last iced coffee before the season changes to cold.

Luke picked up Xavier, he looked so cute coming out of school. Luke got him a hot dog and we got vanilla yougart to share.

At home Luke unloaded the car and I watched X play Super Mario on his Wii. He's getting better and better.

We ate dinner at the Turkish place. I love Pides and decided to treat myself to an egg and cheese (it's like pizza) Violet gets more and more adorable with long blond curls. She ate well and evidently wasn't as tired as she sometimes is. She loves to see what Gramma has in her purse and that's fun. She especially likes the Bach flower pastilles.

I felt better driving home. I was tired but . . . not as tired. Last time I drove home, I had to work hard to focus. I was so, so tired. This week, not so tired but . . still . . . . I have to keep taking care of myself, until I'm well and then some.

again. Just as I promised Bapuji.

10/27/09 Dr Logan Speaks

Today was my appointment with my alternative doc, K Logan. His new office is huge. I came early hoping that someone would be late or miss. I wanted to get my appointment earlier than

4 p.m. (my appointed time) so I could get home and rest before I taught my evening yoga class.

This is the first time I've been up for teaching since "the virus."

Hummmm. Not only was everyone on time, but Dr L was late. I didn't get into the office until

4:30 But . . Oh well.

Dr L was so happy to see me feeling better and on my feet. He gave me a hug of encouragement. Then he examined me. The virus is diminishing, but my lungs were still struggling with infection. I gave him a piece of the controversial new carpet. When he tested me on it, it actually lowered my immunity. Not good. Luke and I will have to discuss this. Bye bye new fish tank. If we have to replace the carpet . . . and it looks like we will . . . .

Oh well.

I was exhausted after the long wait and the long appointment. I knew I had to teach anyway, even if it was just MKate. Once I got there, I was so glad. Matt came. The three of us like to practice yoga together. We've all spent time with Bapuji and the shakti in the room is filled with light and peace.

10/26/09 Meditation Class, Chores w Luke, Resting

I woke up this a.m. off my game. Oooh. Surprise. After a full nights sleep, I'm tired. Well, after talking to people who have survived this virus, or who know someone who has survived, I have to say that I'm holding my own. I remember a great yogi who was terribly ill with a fever so strong that it made his whole body tremble. Someone had to consult with him, the yogi set his illness aside for the time of his meeting. Then, he took the illness back. The man who he met with asked him why he didn't heal himself. Obviously he could. The great yogi said that he didn't want to intefer with his karma--much of which he'd taken on by healing others.

I decide to teach my meditation class, for myself as well as the students. I want to immerse myself in the healing energy. The class has a good feel to it. The Shakti is strong and peaceful. I fall into meditation as well, and when the class is over, I feel a lot better. I think again and again--if God lives inside me, then I should be able to heal myself.

I spoke to Jen. She's happy that we are finally coming to B town to see her sweet little family. I'm going to see Dr Logan tomorrow and will get his thoughts on the trip and on my progress.

I got home in time to see Luke getting ready for chores--picking up my lamp (which I have missed), and other things. I went with him. I stayed in the car, but it was nice to hang out with Luke.

We ended our trip with a short stop at the 1/2 price bookstore. I asked about books on backyard birds. The clerk showed me books on pet birds. So I assume that they don't carry the type of books we want. Just as we're getting ready to check out--we find a whole shew of books on wild birds--in the nature area. By this time, I drained and can't stand up anymore. We look through a few books. Nothing is exactly what we want. We want pictures and information about the birds that are coming to our new bird feeders. And maybe things we can plant next year that will attract a larger variety of birds. We'll look next time.

I go home and rest. I make an easy dinner and rest again.

10/25/09 Last day of sale, NM

When we talked last night, MKate and I agreed that I'd try to work 3 hours--from 1 to 4 pm. I thought I could do that, but I coughed last night and this morning I woke up congested and very, very tired. I thought that I'd go to work and do my best.

It was good to see Matt and Melissa. Both good hearted, laid back people.

Melissa has a friend who came down with the "virus." He continues to be tired and is only able to work part-time. So I quess this is typical. I've been confused. Most of my symptoms are gone, but the deep exhaustion remains. What do I have to learn? Later in the day, one of my regular customers came in. I haven't seen her for a while, and quess what? she had the "virus." She took the Western Med route and is worse off than I've been. She is still not able to work and is only able to shedule on outing a day. We got sick at the same time. Now I've putting things together and I feel that I've been luckier than most. And remember what the UPS guy said, "You must have a strong immune system." He knows people who had to go to the hospital.

So . . . . I'm thinking. Maybe I have to rest at this time, so I can put things together in my mind. So many things have changed in my life. Things that I couldn't have imagined would change. People that I helped when they were down. People who were able to transform their lives through North Indian Yoga, and now . . . Well, we don't even talk. Strange.

Also, I'm thinking about the projects that are pulling my attention--the documentary film on miracles, the art project and all that says about my future, and the kids story (yes, I'm working on it, but not ready to show the work). What about meditation and hatha classes?

I came to NM very, very tired. But I braved up. Matt and Melissa weren't feeling tip top either. My goal was to keep from actually falling down and to serve the customers well--so noone would know. I achieved that.

MKate came in early, about 3 pm, and sent me home. I could barely drag myself to the back to get my purse and then out to the car. I mean drag. So I was glad to be home and resting.

Luke helped me to fix dinner. We had chicken in cream sauce, with a baked potato and cabbage.

Then rest, rest, rest.

10/24/09 Movie Night/ "Paris"

So. This blog is about increasing health, happiness and turning back the clock. It's about creating miracles and also about creating what you really want.

As I look through the moments of my day, I hope to bring details to mind that will help me realize my goals--stated and secret. I want to turn this journal into a book one day. I also want to get people thinking about their own lives.

I woke up this morning to birds in the backyard, and to our beautiful new bird feeder. The birds it attracts are tiny softly colored little guys. They're so excited to find that a new restaurant has been opened in the neighborhood. I saw a simple sparrow, enjoying the flat feeding station. Some people don't like sparrows. I knew someone who called them rats. But mom and I like sparrows. They're part of the bird family.

I wanted to be available to help MKate in the afternoon. Someone called in sick and it's the tail end of the sale--which can get busy. She didn't need much help but I was able to go to the bank for her.

I called about an ad for someone who designs, installs and takes care of aquariums. All we'd have to do is feed. He's a guy with a lot of different talents. Now he's building a new business. I was surprised to learn that he lives in Nashville just outside Bloomington. Still he's got no problem coming to Indy to work with us and once a month to care for the tank.

I think we're going to start with a 20 to 29 gallon tank. We'll see about the fish we want. This guy says that we can get some colorful fish in clear water. We're not getting into salt water. Yet.

Finally movie night. We decided to see an early movie--6:30 pm. Luke read me the movie reviews and I thought that "Paris" sounded good. MKate was able to join us. We ate at home and I fixed a delicous turkey in cream sauce dish.

The movie was not what I expected. Not a happy, romantic story. Gene Kelley did not dance in and sing "Singin' in the Rain , " with Leslie Caron. It started with a young man who is dying of heart disease. It was a deeply textured series of stories about human lives. We all liked it and thought it deserved it's 3 stars.

10/23/09 Nature's Market

I got up today. It was raining. I think rain is so beautiful. Especially when it's warm and when you can stay inside. Outside my bedroom window the trees are turning yellow and red and still with greens. The birds are hiding from the rain.

I get all my exercises done. I'm getting more done, and that's even with low energy. It's that article I read about the inner voices--the negative, tamasic voice that tells you stay in bed another few minutes, do a fun crossword puzzle --you deserve to play; and the positive, statvic voice that tells you to get up and get started. This voice gives you energy to do what's important to you. Instead of falling down Alice's rabbit hole and having to drag yourself out--your statvic cheer leader gets you up and doing.

I knew that I'd be working hard at NM today, so I rested after lunch. I wanted to be able to do my best. And I did.

10/22/09 Bird Feeder Rocks, Foregotten Saint.

OMG. I can't believe that yesterday my legend talked about the "Saint" that I met and that I didn't say a word about him. I was so tired.

As I was getting out of the car to enter Dr K's, I saw a man across the parking lot who was using a walker. In peace, he got it together and made his way toward the front of the building. Moving slowly and gracefully. I opened the door for him. He thanked me and smiled. It was hard to judge his age. Before I could open the next set of doors, he took my hand and prayed with me. It wasn't just the cane. At that point I was feeling so tired and so sick of "the virus."

He prayed with passion the way I always imagined the great Saints of history would pray. I was afraid to sit down next to him because I knew I was carrying flu. Luke got it in terms of a headache and I felt like this man had a low immunity. He told me that he wasn't worried. He takes herbs and feels like he'll be fine.

Then he told me his story. He has two PHD's in education and knew so many famous people.

Then he got aids and he survived. With a terrible cost, but he counts himself a miracle. Only his amazing faith helped him through and continues to help him through. He's agreed to let David film him. I'm so excited.

OK. Today. I looked out my window at the beautiful bird feeders that Linda put together. The birds were having a party--woodpeckers, a small one and a larger one with a red head. I want to get a book on birds now. Lots of buntings, chickadees, and little juncos. They were so excited. They couldn't believe their good luck. It was party time. I was fascinated.

I looked at the tree that Carl has been working on. It used to look so sad, but now it looks cared for and loved. I'm hoping that it will only get better here. It seems happy.

Being in the flow. This morning Luke was at his computer, laughing. I ususally don't ask about it (sorry, but I don't) This morning I did. And I got off my bum to see what he was laughing about. It was the new Shar ad in Japanese. Hello Shar. Most American musicians don't read Japanese. Then Luke went on to his next message. It was Em and Bobby's flight info. And I realized I had to call Em right away. I got her. She and Bobby were already on the plane to Chicago. I got the chance to say good bye before they left for Greece and phone calls were too $$$$. The flow. She sent a text to say she loved us but . . I'm glad I got to talk to her.

Luke came home and we got some annoying chores done. Mostly I sat in the car. We enjoy being together. So that was fun. We talked just as though we were driving to B town together and that was nice.

One more thing that flowed for my daughter, Rain. She got a chance to meet and be photographed with one of her fav t.v. stars--Whitney Port. Now I didn't watch , "The Hills,"

where Whitney Port started out, but Rain did. Now Whitney has her own show. And Rain watches that as well.

She worked hard to meet WP. She had to pull in a favor and get one of her pals to go with her. They waited for 3 hours, and her friend was getting restless. But in the end, they both stayed and it was soooo exciting for Rain.

We laughed. I got my picture taken with Prem and was so excited and she got her picture taken with Whitney Port.

10/22/09 Dr K, I meet a Saint, Campbell's noodle soup

I woke up with a light fever and headache; I felt discouraged. I want this virus thing to be over. I did my practices with more focus. In meditation, I fell into a deeper place than I have experienced before. There I realized that I have the tools to heal myself. If God lives within us, we all have the tools to heal ourselves. In a perfect world, we'd know it and fear would be a thing of the past. Healing would be like having a cup of tea. I was so deep that I also saw my grief at the possibility of losing the physical presence of Bapuji. I cried and allowed myself to feel my sadness.

As a long time yogi, I know that we are all a light from the divine candle and that miracles and healing flow from us like rain from the sky. But today, I had an experience of this that went beyond mental knowing.

I went to Dr K for my weekly adjustment. I told him about Bapuji being sick and how much I'll miss him when he's not around anymore. Dr K was so understanding. He helped me remember that Bapuji will always be with me, maybe more so when he's gone with God.

I felt a little better after my adjustment. I was tired and thought I should go home and rest but . . . I wanted my fav Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup for lunch and nothing else would do. I thought if I stopped at Marsh (on the way home it would be all right). And it was. I checked our their veggies which were fresh. And got a Marsh card. I saved almost $9:00.

Now, I had used up my energy. How would I get the groceries inside? Carl was there. He helped me. I learned a lot about his sadhana.

After I had my soup with 3 saltine crackers, I went to sleep.

10/20/09 More Flu . . . Bionic Cat is brave

This is the beginning of my new blog--Finding the Fountain of Youth. It's a pathway that I've been on for a long time. I have read and heard so many of the great yogic masters say that the human body can be strong and healthy until at least 250 years of age.

It's ironic that I'm starting this blog in the midst of my virus drama. I have been struggling with the HiNi for what seems like forever. On September 9th I went onto an antibiotic for what I thought was a sinus infection--and maybe it was. I don't opt for Western Meds easily, I believe the body can heal itself, but I really wanted to go to Chicago to spend time with Prem--a great yogic Saint. He has been coming to Chicago for 12 years. People have been saying that he won't come to America again. I love him a lot and wanted to spend as much time with him as possilbe.

I felt a lot better on the Z pack and thought I had put the drama behind me. MKate, Luke and I went for Prem's birthday celebration, and had an amazing time.

Back in Indy, I knew that I wanted to see Prem once more--especially since he was probably not coming back to the States. When Luke and I looked at his shedule, we realized that if we wanted to spend more time with Prem we'd have to go back to Chicago on 9/26, 9/27. I knew I wasn't at the top of my game health wise but . . . I decided to go anyway.

I was standing at the top of a staircase in the Dave's home, where Prem stays when he comes to Chicago. I asked him if I could come back one more time to say a last good bye. He looked at me with that penetrating gaze that he has, and he said, " Take care of your health." So that said it all. I wouldn't be coming back to Chicago. And I was going to face a health challange.

O.k. It's 10/20 and I'm still struggling with the HiNi. I went back to work last week--reduced hours. I thought thank God it's over. Then we had the party for Bobby's 50th and I stayed up too late, ate too much rich food. And the next day, we ate dinner with with the kids at Amber Indian. And then I ate Indian left overs the next day . . .

Last night. I spend most of the time in the bathroom. I woke up with a fever and misery. Finally I took Pepto-Bismol and moved out of the bathroom. But I was tired. Really tired.

The B cat came in anyway to give me my computer lesson. After he left, I fell asleep.

More on the virus drama tomorrow.